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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 432154" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hi Vivian and welcome. You are not alone.</p><p>You are doing the right things by limit setting and drug testing. I have to tell you we did the same things with our daughter. She was much younger,14 at the time. Even if your son does go to counseling, he may not respond. Our daughter sure didn't. The problem with how things are going in your home is that you are a prisoner. You are all very stressed. We were the same and <strong>finially we broke.</strong> We couldn't do it on our own anymore. She wasn't responding to any of our interventions. We did do the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) thing. It didn't help her as much as it helped us. But we finially figured out where her trouble was coming from. In the long wrong,it was worth it-she is alive.</p><p> </p><p>Kids don't choose this path unless there is a core issue. They won't always tell us. Will he speak to a school counselor if called in? does his girl friend have any ideas? Is she doing this pot smoking with him as well?</p><p> </p><p>We took away the phone and stripped her bedroom. We hoped that would limit her ability to get and use pot. We never gave her money. However, she was still getting it and using at school or skipping school to use it. The only way that we stopped the water drinking thing is that we would take her to the local methidone place (awful place-hoped it would scare her), and have them test her(also cheaper than home kits). They would tell me she had diluted her urine by drinking too much and we would sit and wait in that horrid place for an hour until we got a good sample (always positive after one of these episodes). Also we did it randomly, she never knew when.</p><p> </p><p>We turned her in to the police when we found paraphenelia and caught her smiking once-didn't help.</p><p> </p><p>The lessons 1.they have to want to stop and get better. The RTCs are a place that works for some and gives you some peace for a time. I have some hope this time-but I'm not convinced she will be better after this second one. I am only convinced that she will be alive. 2.Go to counseling for you and the rest of your family and get their professional advise. This is how we are living again and not totally stressed. 3.Our children will have to make the final choice about getting better, no amount of discipline will cause that. You can't make them go to school unless you are willing to sit with them, and then again you are the prisoner and are they learning? Can't make them do that. We are no longer in control and we can't change them. 4. The siblings matter as much. When you put all your energy into the one who is out making bad choices, the other child(ren) suffer greatly. We made this mistake. 5.There are no for sure answers from anyone. Keep reading, trust your mother instincts, and do what feels right for your family.</p><p> </p><p>Please take care of yourself, keep us posted. This particular forum seems to not have many active users, but there are a few of us who check often. You can make a new thread by pressing the new thread thread button in this forum.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 432154, member: 11001"] Hi Vivian and welcome. You are not alone. You are doing the right things by limit setting and drug testing. I have to tell you we did the same things with our daughter. She was much younger,14 at the time. Even if your son does go to counseling, he may not respond. Our daughter sure didn't. The problem with how things are going in your home is that you are a prisoner. You are all very stressed. We were the same and [B]finially we broke.[/B] We couldn't do it on our own anymore. She wasn't responding to any of our interventions. We did do the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) thing. It didn't help her as much as it helped us. But we finially figured out where her trouble was coming from. In the long wrong,it was worth it-she is alive. Kids don't choose this path unless there is a core issue. They won't always tell us. Will he speak to a school counselor if called in? does his girl friend have any ideas? Is she doing this pot smoking with him as well? We took away the phone and stripped her bedroom. We hoped that would limit her ability to get and use pot. We never gave her money. However, she was still getting it and using at school or skipping school to use it. The only way that we stopped the water drinking thing is that we would take her to the local methidone place (awful place-hoped it would scare her), and have them test her(also cheaper than home kits). They would tell me she had diluted her urine by drinking too much and we would sit and wait in that horrid place for an hour until we got a good sample (always positive after one of these episodes). Also we did it randomly, she never knew when. We turned her in to the police when we found paraphenelia and caught her smiking once-didn't help. The lessons 1.they have to want to stop and get better. The RTCs are a place that works for some and gives you some peace for a time. I have some hope this time-but I'm not convinced she will be better after this second one. I am only convinced that she will be alive. 2.Go to counseling for you and the rest of your family and get their professional advise. This is how we are living again and not totally stressed. 3.Our children will have to make the final choice about getting better, no amount of discipline will cause that. You can't make them go to school unless you are willing to sit with them, and then again you are the prisoner and are they learning? Can't make them do that. We are no longer in control and we can't change them. 4. The siblings matter as much. When you put all your energy into the one who is out making bad choices, the other child(ren) suffer greatly. We made this mistake. 5.There are no for sure answers from anyone. Keep reading, trust your mother instincts, and do what feels right for your family. Please take care of yourself, keep us posted. This particular forum seems to not have many active users, but there are a few of us who check often. You can make a new thread by pressing the new thread thread button in this forum. [/QUOTE]
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