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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 275554" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Yes I showed him the note. I said I thought he could fax it to the therapist. He got mad and said "Do you want to take over, or are you going to let me do it my way?"</p><p> </p><p>Which means put it somewhere and forget it. He doesn't want to show it to the doctor, he's decided it doesn't matter and just shows how 'mean' I am. He doesn't want any more proof that difficult child is troubled to be factored to difficult child's diagnosis, it's bad enough that the therapist said difficult child was 'very, very disturbed' after 3 visits. He can't bear to have difficult child upgraded to 'very, very, VERY disturbed'.</p><p> </p><p>It must be exhausting to constantly have to manage and control information and image of someone who continually sabotages your efforts. He wants it to mean nothing and to be insignificant so he's going to pretend it is. He's going to ignore it instead of letting the therapist decide. He doesn't want difficult child to present too sick. I think he regrets putting difficult child in and wants to snatch him back to the safety of home and under his 'control' again. </p><p> </p><p>I have no patience for it any more--this sort of game hurts difficult child. That picture should have been shown to professionals a year and a half ago. The therapist should have gotten a fax of the letter today. If it's harmless, it's harmless, let the therapist decide, not husband. husband hasn't done to well at 'fixing' difficult child so far and needs to give it up. "If we all pretend really REALLY hard that difficult child is just a little off, then maybe we can squeak by."</p><p> </p><p>husband thinks he's helping difficult child but he isn't. And he gets mad at me because I won't 'support' him in doing this kind of damage control and information editing and covering up of difficult child's actions. Magical thinking does not cure mental illness or personality disorders. husband needs to give up this game, it's old and it hinders difficult child's treatment.</p><p> </p><p>husband is very angry that I insisted that game got returned promptly, he was 'going to return it'. husband has always withheld information from tdocs or given it a gentle spin or dressed it down. When I go into a therapy session and tell what I've seen the tdocs change. It's hard on me and hard on husband. </p><p> </p><p>I foresee difficult child getting a lot of spoiling when he comes home. husband feels so guilty. He even said after he came home from the psychiatric hospital after having him admitted, "He's going to make me pay for doing this to him. Down the line, he's going to get me back for tonight." So he's going to be kissing difficult child's behind Monday night.</p><p> </p><p>I sort of dread difficult child's return and am thinking why am I living like this? Even with all the bickering with a prickly me and husband, this last 24 hours has reminded me of the sweetness of normalcy and freedom. Having to go back to hypervigilence, watching, constant supervision and all that is depressing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 275554, member: 5169"] Yes I showed him the note. I said I thought he could fax it to the therapist. He got mad and said "Do you want to take over, or are you going to let me do it my way?" Which means put it somewhere and forget it. He doesn't want to show it to the doctor, he's decided it doesn't matter and just shows how 'mean' I am. He doesn't want any more proof that difficult child is troubled to be factored to difficult child's diagnosis, it's bad enough that the therapist said difficult child was 'very, very disturbed' after 3 visits. He can't bear to have difficult child upgraded to 'very, very, VERY disturbed'. It must be exhausting to constantly have to manage and control information and image of someone who continually sabotages your efforts. He wants it to mean nothing and to be insignificant so he's going to pretend it is. He's going to ignore it instead of letting the therapist decide. He doesn't want difficult child to present too sick. I think he regrets putting difficult child in and wants to snatch him back to the safety of home and under his 'control' again. I have no patience for it any more--this sort of game hurts difficult child. That picture should have been shown to professionals a year and a half ago. The therapist should have gotten a fax of the letter today. If it's harmless, it's harmless, let the therapist decide, not husband. husband hasn't done to well at 'fixing' difficult child so far and needs to give it up. "If we all pretend really REALLY hard that difficult child is just a little off, then maybe we can squeak by." husband thinks he's helping difficult child but he isn't. And he gets mad at me because I won't 'support' him in doing this kind of damage control and information editing and covering up of difficult child's actions. Magical thinking does not cure mental illness or personality disorders. husband needs to give up this game, it's old and it hinders difficult child's treatment. husband is very angry that I insisted that game got returned promptly, he was 'going to return it'. husband has always withheld information from tdocs or given it a gentle spin or dressed it down. When I go into a therapy session and tell what I've seen the tdocs change. It's hard on me and hard on husband. I foresee difficult child getting a lot of spoiling when he comes home. husband feels so guilty. He even said after he came home from the psychiatric hospital after having him admitted, "He's going to make me pay for doing this to him. Down the line, he's going to get me back for tonight." So he's going to be kissing difficult child's behind Monday night. I sort of dread difficult child's return and am thinking why am I living like this? Even with all the bickering with a prickly me and husband, this last 24 hours has reminded me of the sweetness of normalcy and freedom. Having to go back to hypervigilence, watching, constant supervision and all that is depressing. [/QUOTE]
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