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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 59665" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Mikey, if I have ONE regret about the way my husband and I handled our son last summer when he was pulling the same kind of stunts your son is, it is that I didn't back off and let my husband handle things.</p><p></p><p>Instead, I felt that my husband was too harsh on our poor baby boy, expected too much, wasn't patient enough, etc. We had endless arguments about our different feelings about how we should handle things. </p><p></p><p>Example: When my husband had absolutely had it with our son and told him to find elsewhere to live, I hated him for the first time (my beloved husband of thirty plus years!) and cut myself off from him emotionally. When our son came home to "check in" (translate, hit me up for money) every day of the week he left home, I danced around the important issues at hand until I could find some grain of justification for giving it to him.</p><p></p><p>My husband finally gave up in defeat and backed off to let me handle things. The end result was that my son (with my permission) continued to manipulate me while completely losing all respect for his dad as a father and a man. </p><p></p><p>It's taken my husband a good part of the eight months our son has been gone to break out of his mild depression and regain his self-respect and the two of us most of that time to repair the damage done to our relationship. </p><p></p><p>The fact is that our son was running the show and knew it. In his eyes, his father was a weakling, and I was a pushover. What was to respect? And, given that, why in God's name would he give a rat's bottom what either or us said and/or thought?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 59665, member: 1835"] Mikey, if I have ONE regret about the way my husband and I handled our son last summer when he was pulling the same kind of stunts your son is, it is that [b] [/b] I didn't back off and let my husband handle things. Instead, I felt that my husband was too harsh on our poor baby boy, expected too much, wasn't patient enough, etc. We had endless arguments about our different feelings about how we should handle things. Example: When my husband had absolutely had it with our son and told him to find elsewhere to live, I hated him for the first time (my beloved husband of thirty plus years!) and cut myself off from him emotionally. When our son came home to "check in" (translate, hit me up for money) every day of the week he left home, I danced around the important issues at hand until I could find some grain of justification for giving it to him. My husband finally gave up in defeat and backed off to let me handle things. The end result was that my son (with my permission) continued to manipulate me while completely losing all respect for his dad as a father and a man. It's taken my husband a good part of the eight months our son has been gone to break out of his mild depression and regain his self-respect and the two of us most of that time to repair the damage done to our relationship. The fact is that our son was running the show and knew it. In his eyes, his father was a weakling, and I was a pushover. What was to respect? And, given that, why in God's name would he give a rat's bottom what either or us said and/or thought? [/QUOTE]
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