Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 59667" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>it ended for me when I chose. he continued that life a long time after I quit. same results, but I slept at night, realized I had no power and accepted it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Was that before or after he left your house?</p><p></p><p>before and after...lol</p><p></p><p>mike, </p><p>my mother in law lived two doors from me. my then husb lived here with us. the two of them never let me enforce a thing. they handed ant money. when ant was 13 he got a job washing dishes. mother in law told him to quit and she paid him what he would have made. if he bad mouthed, skipped school, got in trouble ( he still holds the school record for the number detentions and suspensions and was expelled in 8th and 9th grade)</p><p>no matter what he did including giving me the finger and screaming F YOU to me on the sidewalk in front of my house...whatever....they said I was being too hard on him. </p><p></p><p>I tried from when he was 13 til 16 to intervene. I could not get him to come in anytime anyday. I pulled his car off him and locked it in my sister's barn without telling my husb. My then husb let him use his truck even when I said NO&gt; ant would laugh and thumb his nose at me. </p><p></p><p>when my husb was working night shift and ant's car was still locked up, ant stole my car and left for 9 dys. when the car was located, and ant brought back my husb said nothing to ant. not one thing! the car was trashed and had to be sold.</p><p></p><p>ant never saw consequences. I could not win. finally one day after the cops called and told me they had picked up ant all stupid from drugs..and that he had a wad of money that my mother in law gave him...I quit.</p><p></p><p>she knew she was giving him drug money. I told her I would not speak to her until she stopped. (I never did speak to her again)</p><p>I told my husb he had to intervene or I was turning ant into the juvenile authorities. ant stole his dad's wedding ring and sold it for 25 bucks for gas money. his dad said nothing. ant stole a month's supply of his dad's oxycontin he was on and sold it. </p><p></p><p>I called the cops, had ant put away for two yrs. in juvenile. </p><p></p><p>I was trying to save his life before I lost my mind. my then husb and his mother hated me for doing that. no one believed I did the right thing. when ant got out in two yrs he came home. a few weeks later, he was running, drugging, lying, stealing. he was 18, I threw him out and his dad would let him in while I was at work. GRRRR then I threw his dad out and they both lived with mother in law for a while. no one would work. her problem.</p><p></p><p>I filed for divorce. my son continued his dangerous life and it would take me a week to write it all here. but I slept at night. ant still cannot manage money and still sleeps around with underage women, and provides liquor to them. </p><p></p><p>but not in my house. </p><p></p><p>I sleep when my head hits the pillow. my ex lives on a psychiatric disability in a trailer in a small trailer court. he has no responsibility. he doesnt even talk to my sons. </p><p></p><p>I am not responsible for ant and cannot control him still. he is 24. if when he was 17, my mother in law and ant's dad would have stood by me, maybe ant could have avoided two yrs in adult prison...I dont know. she is dead now and cannot enable anymore. </p><p></p><p>detach. read the boundaries book by townsend and cloud. if you love wife then let her do her thing. if she complains she cannot handle her son, tell her you hope they work it out amongst themselves...then go sit on the porch and watch the bunnies. back out of it. you tried your way and no one listened. let them have a go at it and see if he gets better or not. </p><p></p><p>giving up doesnt mean you dont love either of them it means you love yourself enough to take a break before you die from it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 59667, member: 97"] it ended for me when I chose. he continued that life a long time after I quit. same results, but I slept at night, realized I had no power and accepted it. Was that before or after he left your house? before and after...lol mike, my mother in law lived two doors from me. my then husb lived here with us. the two of them never let me enforce a thing. they handed ant money. when ant was 13 he got a job washing dishes. mother in law told him to quit and she paid him what he would have made. if he bad mouthed, skipped school, got in trouble ( he still holds the school record for the number detentions and suspensions and was expelled in 8th and 9th grade) no matter what he did including giving me the finger and screaming F YOU to me on the sidewalk in front of my house...whatever....they said I was being too hard on him. I tried from when he was 13 til 16 to intervene. I could not get him to come in anytime anyday. I pulled his car off him and locked it in my sister's barn without telling my husb. My then husb let him use his truck even when I said NO> ant would laugh and thumb his nose at me. when my husb was working night shift and ant's car was still locked up, ant stole my car and left for 9 dys. when the car was located, and ant brought back my husb said nothing to ant. not one thing! the car was trashed and had to be sold. ant never saw consequences. I could not win. finally one day after the cops called and told me they had picked up ant all stupid from drugs..and that he had a wad of money that my mother in law gave him...I quit. she knew she was giving him drug money. I told her I would not speak to her until she stopped. (I never did speak to her again) I told my husb he had to intervene or I was turning ant into the juvenile authorities. ant stole his dad's wedding ring and sold it for 25 bucks for gas money. his dad said nothing. ant stole a month's supply of his dad's oxycontin he was on and sold it. I called the cops, had ant put away for two yrs. in juvenile. I was trying to save his life before I lost my mind. my then husb and his mother hated me for doing that. no one believed I did the right thing. when ant got out in two yrs he came home. a few weeks later, he was running, drugging, lying, stealing. he was 18, I threw him out and his dad would let him in while I was at work. GRRRR then I threw his dad out and they both lived with mother in law for a while. no one would work. her problem. I filed for divorce. my son continued his dangerous life and it would take me a week to write it all here. but I slept at night. ant still cannot manage money and still sleeps around with underage women, and provides liquor to them. but not in my house. I sleep when my head hits the pillow. my ex lives on a psychiatric disability in a trailer in a small trailer court. he has no responsibility. he doesnt even talk to my sons. I am not responsible for ant and cannot control him still. he is 24. if when he was 17, my mother in law and ant's dad would have stood by me, maybe ant could have avoided two yrs in adult prison...I dont know. she is dead now and cannot enable anymore. detach. read the boundaries book by townsend and cloud. if you love wife then let her do her thing. if she complains she cannot handle her son, tell her you hope they work it out amongst themselves...then go sit on the porch and watch the bunnies. back out of it. you tried your way and no one listened. let them have a go at it and see if he gets better or not. giving up doesnt mean you dont love either of them it means you love yourself enough to take a break before you die from it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
Top