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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 60156" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Since the title of the post is, "Ultimatum Given ..." and that is now a moot point since the ultimatum was basically rescinded, I think it's time to end this post.</div></div></p><p></p><p>I agree. At this point, McWeedy is not fighting his grounding from his car or his revised curfew. He is answering his phone when we call, and he is talking to his boss today about more hours to catch up on the money he owes to us. </p><p></p><p>wife and I talked last night, and she agrees that he needs to "do the time for the crime" on this one, no exceptions from either of us. Also, I'm going to back off a bit and let her steer for a while. As a test run, went to dinner last night with wife, McWeedy and Weedette; first time in two weeks we've had any kind of conversation with more than 10 words without any yelling. Not getting my hopes up, but it was nice (for a change).</p><p></p><p>Ultimatum is still out there, but we deferred requiring McWeedy to make a decision pending his modifying his behaviors. Also, the medication study psychiatric has us scheduled for our first "family session" next week. After hearing the whole story they seem to think they have a real chance to help. Wants me to back off a bit to give them a chance to do their thing. wife wants that too, so I'll give in for a bit.</p><p></p><p>So, as long as McWeedy doesn't deliberately poke his finger in my eye, I'll back down and see where this goes - give wife and the docs some time to try something different. I can't honestly say that I won't go nuclear if he uses this chance to "prove and improve himself" to screws us over (again). </p><p></p><p>I don't think it will work - addicts are addicts, and won't change unless they want to. But at this point, this is the only viable option unless I want to go to war with wife and McW's docs, which I don't. As someone else said, though, I will put the spotlight on McWeedy's actions - set boundaries, follow through with consequences (like we are right now), and see where that leads. We're starting small, but we have to start somewhere....</p><p></p><p>But I'm still not throwing the nuclear option out. And if he's playing us along and screws us over again, I'll push McWeedy into treatment our out of our house, regardless of what wife and the docs say.</p><p></p><p>It's all I can do.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p><p></p><p></p><p>PS: Okay, so where is that detachment 101 handbook?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 60156, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Since the title of the post is, "Ultimatum Given ..." and that is now a moot point since the ultimatum was basically rescinded, I think it's time to end this post.</div></div> I agree. At this point, McWeedy is not fighting his grounding from his car or his revised curfew. He is answering his phone when we call, and he is talking to his boss today about more hours to catch up on the money he owes to us. wife and I talked last night, and she agrees that he needs to "do the time for the crime" on this one, no exceptions from either of us. Also, I'm going to back off a bit and let her steer for a while. As a test run, went to dinner last night with wife, McWeedy and Weedette; first time in two weeks we've had any kind of conversation with more than 10 words without any yelling. Not getting my hopes up, but it was nice (for a change). Ultimatum is still out there, but we deferred requiring McWeedy to make a decision pending his modifying his behaviors. Also, the medication study psychiatric has us scheduled for our first "family session" next week. After hearing the whole story they seem to think they have a real chance to help. Wants me to back off a bit to give them a chance to do their thing. wife wants that too, so I'll give in for a bit. So, as long as McWeedy doesn't deliberately poke his finger in my eye, I'll back down and see where this goes - give wife and the docs some time to try something different. I can't honestly say that I won't go nuclear if he uses this chance to "prove and improve himself" to screws us over (again). I don't think it will work - addicts are addicts, and won't change unless they want to. But at this point, this is the only viable option unless I want to go to war with wife and McW's docs, which I don't. As someone else said, though, I will put the spotlight on McWeedy's actions - set boundaries, follow through with consequences (like we are right now), and see where that leads. We're starting small, but we have to start somewhere.... But I'm still not throwing the nuclear option out. And if he's playing us along and screws us over again, I'll push McWeedy into treatment our out of our house, regardless of what wife and the docs say. It's all I can do. Mikey PS: Okay, so where is that detachment 101 handbook? [/QUOTE]
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Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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