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General Parenting
unmedicated difficult child is losing it.
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 432072" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>A few more "strategies" that came to mind</p><p></p><p>"try" to avoid trigger situations. No, you normally wouldn't have given him the treat, but if you KNOW that he is not stable, and you KNOW that he may explode, it might be worth just giving in and heading off an incident. At 6 it might not make much sense to him, but it's worth trying to put in the explanation. "I know you're having a difficult time right now, and if I could fix it instantly, I would, but I can't, so I'm letting you have this treat only because of this difficult time" If you've been more specific with him before about his illness, then definitely use whatever terminology you use with him instead of "difficult time". I don't find this much different that feeding a kid with a sore throat ice pops ALL day to alleviate symptoms. When they are healthy ice pops are an occasional treat.</p><p></p><p>minimize punishments and discipline and keep it to natural consequences. Helping pick up the display is not punishment, but a natural reaction to knocking it over. Of course, if he won't do it, you must, but again with explanation - that accidents happen sometimes, but we must do everything we can to fix what we've done wrong. This is the very tricky part of mental illness and accountability. Is it REALLY his fault that he knocked it over? No, not really, because his brain and body are reacting to the medications, and even if it was just his illness, it's his illness - not him - BUT in the real world, someone has to fix it, someone has to pay for it. A friend of mine loves using the "stomach bug" as an analogy to explain to "normals" the lack of control a person has for their illness. It can be used for accountability as well. If you are shopping, and the stomach bug hits, and you try to get to the rest room, but don't make it, and make a mess all over the floor, are you just going to walk away from it? No, you will get assistance and help clean it up.</p><p></p><p>Your child, like mine, like many others here need to learn that they have to be accountable, not just for their actions, but for managing their illness as well.</p><p></p><p>I hope this makes sense and helps. In a crisis situation, "regular" parenting can wait. Hopefully it won't last too much longer for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 432072, member: 11965"] A few more "strategies" that came to mind "try" to avoid trigger situations. No, you normally wouldn't have given him the treat, but if you KNOW that he is not stable, and you KNOW that he may explode, it might be worth just giving in and heading off an incident. At 6 it might not make much sense to him, but it's worth trying to put in the explanation. "I know you're having a difficult time right now, and if I could fix it instantly, I would, but I can't, so I'm letting you have this treat only because of this difficult time" If you've been more specific with him before about his illness, then definitely use whatever terminology you use with him instead of "difficult time". I don't find this much different that feeding a kid with a sore throat ice pops ALL day to alleviate symptoms. When they are healthy ice pops are an occasional treat. minimize punishments and discipline and keep it to natural consequences. Helping pick up the display is not punishment, but a natural reaction to knocking it over. Of course, if he won't do it, you must, but again with explanation - that accidents happen sometimes, but we must do everything we can to fix what we've done wrong. This is the very tricky part of mental illness and accountability. Is it REALLY his fault that he knocked it over? No, not really, because his brain and body are reacting to the medications, and even if it was just his illness, it's his illness - not him - BUT in the real world, someone has to fix it, someone has to pay for it. A friend of mine loves using the "stomach bug" as an analogy to explain to "normals" the lack of control a person has for their illness. It can be used for accountability as well. If you are shopping, and the stomach bug hits, and you try to get to the rest room, but don't make it, and make a mess all over the floor, are you just going to walk away from it? No, you will get assistance and help clean it up. Your child, like mine, like many others here need to learn that they have to be accountable, not just for their actions, but for managing their illness as well. I hope this makes sense and helps. In a crisis situation, "regular" parenting can wait. Hopefully it won't last too much longer for you. [/QUOTE]
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unmedicated difficult child is losing it.
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