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Update -- Been Awhile
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 716055" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Have had a few days to let our visit gel.</p><p></p><p>Hubs asked me today why I thought son kept bringing up his dorm mates and residents and their horrible back histories, ways they are faking their drug tests, ways they are intimidating him, etc.</p><p></p><p>"Do you think he was fishing, hoping we would let him leave rehab and live with us again?"</p><p></p><p>I didn't notice it until Hubs asked it, but now I do.</p><p></p><p>Even clean and sober, son is gaming.</p><p></p><p>When son lived with us last time (and hopefully THE last time) he had a job that many would kill for...good pay, work he enjoyed, great benefits, close to home, goal-oriented coworkers. Home environment was safe and nourishing. Lots of opportunities to do the things he said he loves, like hiking, biking, reconnecting with the family he had neglected.</p><p></p><p>Within a few weeks, his priority was to reach out to ex-girlfriend from detox, the one with lots of drama and the meth addiction, and that was all she wrote.</p><p></p><p>So we've seen this before, many times.</p><p></p><p>He PREFERS to be around people who live on this kind of edge. He seeks them out, whether he's in rehab or a safe and nurturing place. Then things get hard, because he's playing with hard people, and he wants to be rescued.</p><p></p><p>I'm trying to temper my expectations. He's only been sober for a couple of months, but still...</p><p></p><p>He's always scheming!</p><p></p><p>Why is everyone a means to his ends?</p><p></p><p>It gets sooooo tiresome to fend him off.</p><p></p><p>Has any other parent on this board felt that without the link of genetics they would have NOTHING to do with this person?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 716055, member: 17720"] Have had a few days to let our visit gel. Hubs asked me today why I thought son kept bringing up his dorm mates and residents and their horrible back histories, ways they are faking their drug tests, ways they are intimidating him, etc. "Do you think he was fishing, hoping we would let him leave rehab and live with us again?" I didn't notice it until Hubs asked it, but now I do. Even clean and sober, son is gaming. When son lived with us last time (and hopefully THE last time) he had a job that many would kill for...good pay, work he enjoyed, great benefits, close to home, goal-oriented coworkers. Home environment was safe and nourishing. Lots of opportunities to do the things he said he loves, like hiking, biking, reconnecting with the family he had neglected. Within a few weeks, his priority was to reach out to ex-girlfriend from detox, the one with lots of drama and the meth addiction, and that was all she wrote. So we've seen this before, many times. He PREFERS to be around people who live on this kind of edge. He seeks them out, whether he's in rehab or a safe and nurturing place. Then things get hard, because he's playing with hard people, and he wants to be rescued. I'm trying to temper my expectations. He's only been sober for a couple of months, but still... He's always scheming! Why is everyone a means to his ends? It gets sooooo tiresome to fend him off. Has any other parent on this board felt that without the link of genetics they would have NOTHING to do with this person? [/QUOTE]
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