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Update...no big deal/ rant
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 730727" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you! I think I did well too. I did not realize I had this all bottled up inside me because I always backed off just a little because I felt one day my sister would come back and tell me what I put down was wrong. She has this thing about reading my posts here. But she can't confront me again so I can pour it all out now and never have to hear her invalidating my reality. It did happen and to me my mother WAS that bad and my sister was awful too with her cut offs and cops. I was not great all the time but i didn't cut her off or call the cops or refuse to apologize or belittle her. And I would have invited my brother to my wedding, even if it he truly WERE ugly...and he was not. </p><p></p><p> And If my mother would have treated sissy like she treated me, I would have stuck up for her, not just let it go. I have a strong sense of justice for the underdog and if either my sister or brother had been scapegoated by my mother, she would have heard about it from me. If I had been the golden child there would have been no scapegoat. I was very young when I started sticking up for others who were bullied, although I was bullied too. I don't take bullying lightly. Never did. To this day I feel for all the underdogs of this world...my sister in my opinion has no heart for them.</p><p></p><p>Another very hurtful issue that I feel I MUST discuss before I stop...My lovely mother disinherited me. Well, she left me a dollar. It was an eff you Miss Nobody, from the grave.</p><p>If my sibling had been disinherited by my Mother, as it was, I would have felt very badly and at the least I would have offered my love and sympathy and the chance for the rejected one to pick through the mother's belongings.</p><p></p><p> The rejection hurt. The money was not a lot and was irrelevant. It was knowing for sure that Mother did not love me at all and I had always known this but the proof in this action stung me anew. Did my siblings know this? If so, they didnt care. I didnt matter. They both ignored it, even my brother, who I do think is a kind and caring person, but not demonstrative. And very attached to Mother as her special child. So it was never even brought up to me. How callous.</p><p></p><p>Now were my siblings obligated to comfort me? No!!!! But *I* would have reached out to hug and comfort the left out sibling. That is how I am and how they are not. There was a warmth missing from them...and from almost all of my FOO. My grandma showed warmth. Nobody else.</p><p></p><p>Well, I think I did and I know my husband and kids find me a warm comfort to them...so I guess I am warm hearted. I am very close to all my kids. By their choice.</p><p></p><p>As for Sis and me, not once did my sister ever do anything really nurturing or kind to me. Oh, yeah. She insists she sent me flowers in the trauma center after my car accident, but my husband says those flowers only had my fathers name on the card, not hers, I believe my husband. </p><p></p><p>Joke: She thinks she is an empath or a codependent! The only person she is empathic to is her abusive boyfriend. She doesn't even say nice things about her gaggle of elderly friends who are mostly trying to find men and failing. She is particularly brutal to the "bird" friend whose boyfriend she finds narcicistc.</p><p></p><p>I am so done. I feel the spilling of the years draining me....slowly. Just getting it all out about her exhausts me. SHE exhausts me in real life even more. Drama drama and more drama. I think I am finished. I needed to spell it out to purge ALL of her lies and cruelties from my system. And my mother's as well. And I preferred to tell strangers rather than people she knows, as she did to me. It should be over now. My truth. Her secrets. My mother's extreme games and abuse toward me. Since I was an infant and she refused to hold me because I was "stiff." God forbid she should have tried harder until I felt comfort in her arms. She was a lazy mother. She propped a bottle and walked away. It was easier.</p><p></p><p>To my shadow Sis, I will NEVER go to your forum to read your responses. You have every right to put down your feelings. I am not at all upset about that. Nobody knows me there so say anything. But I have every right NOT to go to b p d com and look at what you say. You lost your voice to me forever. </p><p></p><p> I appreciate the support you always give. As you know, family of origin members tell family scapegoats that they are are wrong, are lying, are the reason the other person was abusive, are crazy etc. It is a family bullying a method...Mean Girls in a family. </p><p></p><p> I have to NEVER hear her crapola again. Ever.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again.</p><p></p><p> .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 730727, member: 1550"] Thank you! I think I did well too. I did not realize I had this all bottled up inside me because I always backed off just a little because I felt one day my sister would come back and tell me what I put down was wrong. She has this thing about reading my posts here. But she can't confront me again so I can pour it all out now and never have to hear her invalidating my reality. It did happen and to me my mother WAS that bad and my sister was awful too with her cut offs and cops. I was not great all the time but i didn't cut her off or call the cops or refuse to apologize or belittle her. And I would have invited my brother to my wedding, even if it he truly WERE ugly...and he was not. And If my mother would have treated sissy like she treated me, I would have stuck up for her, not just let it go. I have a strong sense of justice for the underdog and if either my sister or brother had been scapegoated by my mother, she would have heard about it from me. If I had been the golden child there would have been no scapegoat. I was very young when I started sticking up for others who were bullied, although I was bullied too. I don't take bullying lightly. Never did. To this day I feel for all the underdogs of this world...my sister in my opinion has no heart for them. Another very hurtful issue that I feel I MUST discuss before I stop...My lovely mother disinherited me. Well, she left me a dollar. It was an eff you Miss Nobody, from the grave. If my sibling had been disinherited by my Mother, as it was, I would have felt very badly and at the least I would have offered my love and sympathy and the chance for the rejected one to pick through the mother's belongings. The rejection hurt. The money was not a lot and was irrelevant. It was knowing for sure that Mother did not love me at all and I had always known this but the proof in this action stung me anew. Did my siblings know this? If so, they didnt care. I didnt matter. They both ignored it, even my brother, who I do think is a kind and caring person, but not demonstrative. And very attached to Mother as her special child. So it was never even brought up to me. How callous. Now were my siblings obligated to comfort me? No!!!! But *I* would have reached out to hug and comfort the left out sibling. That is how I am and how they are not. There was a warmth missing from them...and from almost all of my FOO. My grandma showed warmth. Nobody else. Well, I think I did and I know my husband and kids find me a warm comfort to them...so I guess I am warm hearted. I am very close to all my kids. By their choice. As for Sis and me, not once did my sister ever do anything really nurturing or kind to me. Oh, yeah. She insists she sent me flowers in the trauma center after my car accident, but my husband says those flowers only had my fathers name on the card, not hers, I believe my husband. Joke: She thinks she is an empath or a codependent! The only person she is empathic to is her abusive boyfriend. She doesn't even say nice things about her gaggle of elderly friends who are mostly trying to find men and failing. She is particularly brutal to the "bird" friend whose boyfriend she finds narcicistc. I am so done. I feel the spilling of the years draining me....slowly. Just getting it all out about her exhausts me. SHE exhausts me in real life even more. Drama drama and more drama. I think I am finished. I needed to spell it out to purge ALL of her lies and cruelties from my system. And my mother's as well. And I preferred to tell strangers rather than people she knows, as she did to me. It should be over now. My truth. Her secrets. My mother's extreme games and abuse toward me. Since I was an infant and she refused to hold me because I was "stiff." God forbid she should have tried harder until I felt comfort in her arms. She was a lazy mother. She propped a bottle and walked away. It was easier. To my shadow Sis, I will NEVER go to your forum to read your responses. You have every right to put down your feelings. I am not at all upset about that. Nobody knows me there so say anything. But I have every right NOT to go to b p d com and look at what you say. You lost your voice to me forever. I appreciate the support you always give. As you know, family of origin members tell family scapegoats that they are are wrong, are lying, are the reason the other person was abusive, are crazy etc. It is a family bullying a method...Mean Girls in a family. I have to NEVER hear her crapola again. Ever. Thanks again. . [/QUOTE]
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