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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 702811" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Seeking. So sorry about the texts, they surely do throw you for a loop...always just as the merry-go-round slows down.</p><p>I can feel the "holiday" coming for us all. I was for the last weeks anxious about how to do family celebrations this year. Invite him? Have everyone lock up valuables and put a "tail" on him as he's here? Don't invite and live with the sadness and guilt? No good choice. We tried a trial run on Saturday as he hasn't been to our home for months. (last time drunk/high) He came for a few hours to watch football with us. We had to drive him, he lives 20 min. away, his car broken down and being hidden from default title loan. He had a healing black eye-we didn't ask. Pleasant enough visit, seemed sober but we know we can't ever tell anymore, he asked hubs to buy him cigarettes on the way home, hubs said "no". Well-that went pretty good....</p><p></p><p>Then. Last night. The text came.</p><p>"I just got 10 day notice. I'm screwed. My bonus check comes at end of month, guess I could use it to move if there's enough".</p><p>...and I think "why us?"</p><p></p><p>This is why...thank you. Thank you for posting and being in this too. Your heartache touches me. I feel it.</p><p></p><p>...and his choices kill me...because I let them. </p><p> In realizing this, we start over again. We count the blessings we do have, there are many. Seeking, today is a new day. May it be without texts and pain and "why us?". Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 702811, member: 20054"] Hi Seeking. So sorry about the texts, they surely do throw you for a loop...always just as the merry-go-round slows down. I can feel the "holiday" coming for us all. I was for the last weeks anxious about how to do family celebrations this year. Invite him? Have everyone lock up valuables and put a "tail" on him as he's here? Don't invite and live with the sadness and guilt? No good choice. We tried a trial run on Saturday as he hasn't been to our home for months. (last time drunk/high) He came for a few hours to watch football with us. We had to drive him, he lives 20 min. away, his car broken down and being hidden from default title loan. He had a healing black eye-we didn't ask. Pleasant enough visit, seemed sober but we know we can't ever tell anymore, he asked hubs to buy him cigarettes on the way home, hubs said "no". Well-that went pretty good.... Then. Last night. The text came. "I just got 10 day notice. I'm screwed. My bonus check comes at end of month, guess I could use it to move if there's enough". ...and I think "why us?" This is why...thank you. Thank you for posting and being in this too. Your heartache touches me. I feel it. ...and his choices kill me...because I let them. In realizing this, we start over again. We count the blessings we do have, there are many. Seeking, today is a new day. May it be without texts and pain and "why us?". Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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