mom_to_3
Active Member
I always feel like I write a book when I post. I try not to, but can't quite get all the info I think is needed. Here is more info:
First and foremost, my number one concern has always and will always be my grandson. I feel like my husband and I have been his only "voice" and his refuge when allowed and we have tried to be his guardian angels. In my mind, there is nothing more valuable than an innocent child. They had no choice to be here and totally rely on the adults for their every need. Some "adults" do a better job than others caring for their children.
I got a call from the caseworker the day before yesterday asking if we were still willing to have him come here. We are. As it turns out the foster mother where he is staying with his little sister, gave her 30 day notice on him. He needs to be placed elsewhere because of his acting out, his half sister can stay. In the beginning the judge did not want to separate the children. He felt it was in the children's best interest to be placed together. I tried to explain that our grandson was high maintenance, but obviously he didn't get it. I guess one really can't until you have lived it.
My grandson definitely has issues and on top of it, he is very angry and confused with his currant situation. He is able to express his anger verbally, but he is also expressing his anger by pooping and peeing anywhere but a toilet! He was doing this at home with his father. Big red flags, but I'm thinking it is more of a symptom of him living in the environment he was in. I hope. When he has come to visit our home, he has never done that. He is acting out in other ways too, hitting his sister, awake at night and sneaking food. He has had an on going issue with not being able to sleep thru the night for his whole life. He was allowed to sleep with his mother and father when they were together and was never taught to sleep on his own. He sleeps great if he's in bed with someone, but we all know that is not healthy for anyone.
I am concerned and nervous. We love our grandson and he loves us and loves being here. He is a handful, very, very high maintenance, but we don't have the same kind of issue's that he has at home. He is supposed to have a psychological exam next week. He won't come here until after that exam. I am trying to contact the caseworker because I would like to have input.
Speaking of psychological exams... his bio mother, (our difficult child), his father and step mom are all required to have a psychological exam and a parenting evaluation type thing too. That is one reason that I didn't feel like I wanted to voluntarily tell our difficult child's whole mental health history. CPS should be aware of our difficult child's history, they could at least look at their own records for information. So, no, I would NEVER send our grandson into harms way, abusive nor neglectful.
We will not be foster parents for our grandson, but will provide what is called kinship care. CPS will offer NO services to us! I'm a tad bit upset about that. I asked for respite care to give us a break, no go, and I also asked for them to pay for him to go to preschool even part time as he needs socialization and structure so badly. Again, no go. When school starts up again, he will go to public school. Maybe that will give us time for him to feel secure and settle here. We'll take the summer and enjoy ourselves. It's been awhile since I've had to think up things for kids to do as my youngest is graduating this year. I want to put him in swimming lessons and we'll go to the library and we have a great playscape where there are lots of children. There are not many young children in our neighborhood sadly. I've got to find him activities and other boys to play with! We have our own swimming pool and he loves to swim, so that at least will wear him out. I need to get him a bike. He has a tree swing and one of those little tyke cars for outside play.
Cross your fingers that I will have the stamina and patience to do this! Thanks for all of your other replies, they keep me thinking.
First and foremost, my number one concern has always and will always be my grandson. I feel like my husband and I have been his only "voice" and his refuge when allowed and we have tried to be his guardian angels. In my mind, there is nothing more valuable than an innocent child. They had no choice to be here and totally rely on the adults for their every need. Some "adults" do a better job than others caring for their children.
I got a call from the caseworker the day before yesterday asking if we were still willing to have him come here. We are. As it turns out the foster mother where he is staying with his little sister, gave her 30 day notice on him. He needs to be placed elsewhere because of his acting out, his half sister can stay. In the beginning the judge did not want to separate the children. He felt it was in the children's best interest to be placed together. I tried to explain that our grandson was high maintenance, but obviously he didn't get it. I guess one really can't until you have lived it.
My grandson definitely has issues and on top of it, he is very angry and confused with his currant situation. He is able to express his anger verbally, but he is also expressing his anger by pooping and peeing anywhere but a toilet! He was doing this at home with his father. Big red flags, but I'm thinking it is more of a symptom of him living in the environment he was in. I hope. When he has come to visit our home, he has never done that. He is acting out in other ways too, hitting his sister, awake at night and sneaking food. He has had an on going issue with not being able to sleep thru the night for his whole life. He was allowed to sleep with his mother and father when they were together and was never taught to sleep on his own. He sleeps great if he's in bed with someone, but we all know that is not healthy for anyone.
I am concerned and nervous. We love our grandson and he loves us and loves being here. He is a handful, very, very high maintenance, but we don't have the same kind of issue's that he has at home. He is supposed to have a psychological exam next week. He won't come here until after that exam. I am trying to contact the caseworker because I would like to have input.
Speaking of psychological exams... his bio mother, (our difficult child), his father and step mom are all required to have a psychological exam and a parenting evaluation type thing too. That is one reason that I didn't feel like I wanted to voluntarily tell our difficult child's whole mental health history. CPS should be aware of our difficult child's history, they could at least look at their own records for information. So, no, I would NEVER send our grandson into harms way, abusive nor neglectful.
We will not be foster parents for our grandson, but will provide what is called kinship care. CPS will offer NO services to us! I'm a tad bit upset about that. I asked for respite care to give us a break, no go, and I also asked for them to pay for him to go to preschool even part time as he needs socialization and structure so badly. Again, no go. When school starts up again, he will go to public school. Maybe that will give us time for him to feel secure and settle here. We'll take the summer and enjoy ourselves. It's been awhile since I've had to think up things for kids to do as my youngest is graduating this year. I want to put him in swimming lessons and we'll go to the library and we have a great playscape where there are lots of children. There are not many young children in our neighborhood sadly. I've got to find him activities and other boys to play with! We have our own swimming pool and he loves to swim, so that at least will wear him out. I need to get him a bike. He has a tree swing and one of those little tyke cars for outside play.
Cross your fingers that I will have the stamina and patience to do this! Thanks for all of your other replies, they keep me thinking.
