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Update on PO mess!
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 506686" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I woke up around 2 AM thinking of you and worrying about your situation. Yeah, I know, it really is not my concern but as a family member it's on my mind. You're an intelligent adult woman who likely neither needs or wants input from a family elder. on the other hand it worries me that you are a single person hoping to trump the system. I'm hoping my input is not seen as "anti" because it's not. </p><p></p><p>The primary concern I have is the environment difficult child could face on his first morning of freedom after a long time living in a stressful place. His emotions have to be all over the place in anticipation of his release. No matter what the law says and no matter what the parties intentions may be...he will step into an anxiety laden situation. That is my main concern.</p><p></p><p>The secondary concern is that "the system" asked you if he could come home to your place upon release and for a number of valid reasons you expressed your concerns. They offered what they considered "supports" for at home placement and among other things you were concerned they would randomly invade your home and also that the mentor they offered would not be properly qualified. They have those records showing that the offer was made and was rejected many months ago...and possibly on more than one occasion. That concerns me on your behalf and difficult child's.</p><p></p><p>Then again it has been many months since they identified the GH that they planned to use. Regardless of the locale. condition or staffing that was what they choose as Plan B. At that point you discovered that the goal was not what you wanted (short term reunification adjustment period) and other concerns arose about the residency, management etc. at the GH. Just a short while ago they said you could pick him up and transport him there and you refused to do so and told them they could transport if he was going to the GH. That also is in their records.</p><p></p><p>I'm assuming they have a legal right to participate in difficult children post incarceration adjustment. They have no supports in place for your home. There have been no schedules set for visitation, mentoring, etc. and they have no advance info on your home or his academic placement. Frankly, I honestly don't see how they can let him drive away with his Mom and not have liability should something go wrong. </p><p></p><p>Being a Warrior Mom is extremely difficult. Your situation is complex, protracted and evidentally includes legal issues that can/could be addressed. You've worked hard researching the laws and the intentions of the laws. on the other hand, unlike many family members who also support you, I don't embrace the idea of a face off upon release. Even if you were able to pick difficult child up and take him home I am sure that some degree of chaos will soon follow. I am a strong proponent of our CD site being a "soft place to land" but we are also family with different perceptions. The best interests of your family is foremost on my mind. I continue to send caring thoughts and prayers that the best resolution is found. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 506686, member: 35"] I woke up around 2 AM thinking of you and worrying about your situation. Yeah, I know, it really is not my concern but as a family member it's on my mind. You're an intelligent adult woman who likely neither needs or wants input from a family elder. on the other hand it worries me that you are a single person hoping to trump the system. I'm hoping my input is not seen as "anti" because it's not. The primary concern I have is the environment difficult child could face on his first morning of freedom after a long time living in a stressful place. His emotions have to be all over the place in anticipation of his release. No matter what the law says and no matter what the parties intentions may be...he will step into an anxiety laden situation. That is my main concern. The secondary concern is that "the system" asked you if he could come home to your place upon release and for a number of valid reasons you expressed your concerns. They offered what they considered "supports" for at home placement and among other things you were concerned they would randomly invade your home and also that the mentor they offered would not be properly qualified. They have those records showing that the offer was made and was rejected many months ago...and possibly on more than one occasion. That concerns me on your behalf and difficult child's. Then again it has been many months since they identified the GH that they planned to use. Regardless of the locale. condition or staffing that was what they choose as Plan B. At that point you discovered that the goal was not what you wanted (short term reunification adjustment period) and other concerns arose about the residency, management etc. at the GH. Just a short while ago they said you could pick him up and transport him there and you refused to do so and told them they could transport if he was going to the GH. That also is in their records. I'm assuming they have a legal right to participate in difficult children post incarceration adjustment. They have no supports in place for your home. There have been no schedules set for visitation, mentoring, etc. and they have no advance info on your home or his academic placement. Frankly, I honestly don't see how they can let him drive away with his Mom and not have liability should something go wrong. Being a Warrior Mom is extremely difficult. Your situation is complex, protracted and evidentally includes legal issues that can/could be addressed. You've worked hard researching the laws and the intentions of the laws. on the other hand, unlike many family members who also support you, I don't embrace the idea of a face off upon release. Even if you were able to pick difficult child up and take him home I am sure that some degree of chaos will soon follow. I am a strong proponent of our CD site being a "soft place to land" but we are also family with different perceptions. The best interests of your family is foremost on my mind. I continue to send caring thoughts and prayers that the best resolution is found. DDD [/QUOTE]
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