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Parent Emeritus
Update: The waters of de Nile are calm.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655216" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>COM, you are always so smart in your replies. Whether others are doing well or happy or unhappy or angry, etc...it is our decision to make their lives our lives too.</p><p></p><p>I think a step forward that is significant is like when my daughter told all her drug friends to get f****d and meant it and quit, then got a job that she had to walk to and from because she had no car. That doesn't mean these are not small baby steps. It just means that will not make a significant difference in the ability to build independent lives.</p><p></p><p>When a grown child says "I'm paying people off" I either used to not believe it or think it was for drugs.That's drug talk. None of my other kids ever told us they had to "pay someone off." And Princess doesn't do that anymore. I'll have to ask her about who she was trying to pay off when I see her in a few weeks. Although those days are far behind the full time mom/housewife, she does get a kick out of the stuff she used to pull and will talk about "those days."</p><p></p><p>I have learned, maybe because I had to do it or have no good times at all, to let others do what they do and live my life as normal. When something really changes, you will know and you can celebrate it, but again it is THEIR victory, not ours. We are not our children. We are not what THEY do. We are not what anybody does but ourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655216, member: 1550"] COM, you are always so smart in your replies. Whether others are doing well or happy or unhappy or angry, etc...it is our decision to make their lives our lives too. I think a step forward that is significant is like when my daughter told all her drug friends to get f****d and meant it and quit, then got a job that she had to walk to and from because she had no car. That doesn't mean these are not small baby steps. It just means that will not make a significant difference in the ability to build independent lives. When a grown child says "I'm paying people off" I either used to not believe it or think it was for drugs.That's drug talk. None of my other kids ever told us they had to "pay someone off." And Princess doesn't do that anymore. I'll have to ask her about who she was trying to pay off when I see her in a few weeks. Although those days are far behind the full time mom/housewife, she does get a kick out of the stuff she used to pull and will talk about "those days." I have learned, maybe because I had to do it or have no good times at all, to let others do what they do and live my life as normal. When something really changes, you will know and you can celebrate it, but again it is THEIR victory, not ours. We are not our children. We are not what THEY do. We are not what anybody does but ourselves. [/QUOTE]
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Update: The waters of de Nile are calm.
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