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Update - when the phone rings
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 755018" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I posted originally about my son flipping out on me after Thanksgiving spitting on my car, swearing, calling me every name in the book, threatening to slit my tires if I came back to his town, and on and on. I felt shell shocked. All this because I told him that I would not use the $400 I promised him for Christmas to pay rent to pay car tickets instead.</p><p></p><p>I have not spoken to him since and blocked him on my cell phone. He called my home phone three weeks ago and left a message, saying he had the flu and would I call? I did not.</p><p></p><p>When I got home today, he had left a message, saying he had been very sick and in the hospital, and would I call him?</p><p></p><p>It's almost midnight, and I don't have plans to call him, but here's the thing. If I knew my youngest son had been sick and in the hospital, I would be in my car right now on the way. My youngest has never raised his voice at me and always treats me respectfully, even when he disagrees. </p><p></p><p>The thought of talking to my DS triggers my ptsd. I feel the anxiety physically, can't concentrate, and here I sit, not able to calm myself. My instincts as a mother are to reach out, but he has not apologized, and I don't trust him not to lash out again, or manipulate me, and I am sure he wants rescuing. He has alienated everyone in our family, and, I imagine he is homeless or on the verge in our very cold state of NH, which has poor services. See, I am catastrophizing. </p><p></p><p>I don't want to call, but I don't want to be heartless. Do I text him that I love him, but tell him he must find his own way forward? Do I continue to not respond? Logic tells me this is the best course given his behavior towards me, but boy is this hard stuff.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 755018, member: 19832"] I posted originally about my son flipping out on me after Thanksgiving spitting on my car, swearing, calling me every name in the book, threatening to slit my tires if I came back to his town, and on and on. I felt shell shocked. All this because I told him that I would not use the $400 I promised him for Christmas to pay rent to pay car tickets instead. I have not spoken to him since and blocked him on my cell phone. He called my home phone three weeks ago and left a message, saying he had the flu and would I call? I did not. When I got home today, he had left a message, saying he had been very sick and in the hospital, and would I call him? It's almost midnight, and I don't have plans to call him, but here's the thing. If I knew my youngest son had been sick and in the hospital, I would be in my car right now on the way. My youngest has never raised his voice at me and always treats me respectfully, even when he disagrees. The thought of talking to my DS triggers my ptsd. I feel the anxiety physically, can't concentrate, and here I sit, not able to calm myself. My instincts as a mother are to reach out, but he has not apologized, and I don't trust him not to lash out again, or manipulate me, and I am sure he wants rescuing. He has alienated everyone in our family, and, I imagine he is homeless or on the verge in our very cold state of NH, which has poor services. See, I am catastrophizing. I don't want to call, but I don't want to be heartless. Do I text him that I love him, but tell him he must find his own way forward? Do I continue to not respond? Logic tells me this is the best course given his behavior towards me, but boy is this hard stuff. [/QUOTE]
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