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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 713369" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>This is not a road any of us pictures when we bring home our sweet babes. We would never imagine the heartbreak we have had to endure and experiences we are living. </p><p></p><p>However, saying that .... I realize they are no longer those innocent babes who needed us to do everything for them. They need to find their own way, and for us to watch it is the heartbreak as we cannot fix it or clean it or make it go away.... there is no easy answer, or way to do this. </p><p></p><p>Each of us has a different situation and for me to tell you what to do would not make sense. I can tell you to realize you are not alone. We are all here, on this perilous journey too. When I was a younger mum, I thought I'd be able to see my boys take a clear and wide open road complete with a map and desired destination... college, families... etc... I think of it now as a trek through a dense jungle, with scary things all around, with no map or idea of where the heck to go next... each day can bring a new twist or hurdle. I have learnt to let go of my own vision for my sons future and try to live my own life with integrity. </p><p></p><p>I still do way more for him than I should .... I can't see him in pain and like you I would try to make sure he had food and a clean bed. I can't help that ... I know some think it's a form of enabling... but I can't not. I still go down and clean his room when it gets unbearable for me. I have no judgement on what we each do in those ways... we all have to find a way to navigate that is true to ourselves. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there and be kind to you today. </p><p></p><p>Hugs...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 713369, member: 19887"] This is not a road any of us pictures when we bring home our sweet babes. We would never imagine the heartbreak we have had to endure and experiences we are living. However, saying that .... I realize they are no longer those innocent babes who needed us to do everything for them. They need to find their own way, and for us to watch it is the heartbreak as we cannot fix it or clean it or make it go away.... there is no easy answer, or way to do this. Each of us has a different situation and for me to tell you what to do would not make sense. I can tell you to realize you are not alone. We are all here, on this perilous journey too. When I was a younger mum, I thought I'd be able to see my boys take a clear and wide open road complete with a map and desired destination... college, families... etc... I think of it now as a trek through a dense jungle, with scary things all around, with no map or idea of where the heck to go next... each day can bring a new twist or hurdle. I have learnt to let go of my own vision for my sons future and try to live my own life with integrity. I still do way more for him than I should .... I can't see him in pain and like you I would try to make sure he had food and a clean bed. I can't help that ... I know some think it's a form of enabling... but I can't not. I still go down and clean his room when it gets unbearable for me. I have no judgement on what we each do in those ways... we all have to find a way to navigate that is true to ourselves. Hang in there and be kind to you today. Hugs... [/QUOTE]
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