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Parent Emeritus
Urgent—32 year old bipolar daughter pregnant and may be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756130" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My quote thing isn't working. Denise: <em> I am in really bad shape. I am an extremely functional and high energy person and I am totally debilitated. </em></p><p></p><p>Denise. Please believe you are not alone. I was this kind of person too. I was completely felled by my son's distress. A number of other mothers here were similarly affected. </p><p></p><p>The critically important thing is what you've begun to do: We have to learn to center ourselves in ourselves not in them. I used to feel that my own heart was walking around on the sidewalk, homeless. It was unbearable to me. I did not feel as if my son and I were separate people. I am better now. Thankfully. And as I learned to separate, my son did begin to step up and make some better choices. </p><p></p><p>But the reality is, we can't suffer for them, because it is from their suffering that comes learning and change. Our suffering teaches them not one thing, except that they can extract benefit from us. Of all sorts: Economic. Housing. Emotional. Social. Nurture. Support. Etc. </p><p></p><p>You are doing the right thing. This is a process. You are giving yourself the space to heal. And opening up space for your daughter to heal too. We can't do it for them. But we can do it for ourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756130, member: 18958"] My quote thing isn't working. Denise: [I] I am in really bad shape. I am an extremely functional and high energy person and I am totally debilitated. [/I] Denise. Please believe you are not alone. I was this kind of person too. I was completely felled by my son's distress. A number of other mothers here were similarly affected. The critically important thing is what you've begun to do: We have to learn to center ourselves in ourselves not in them. I used to feel that my own heart was walking around on the sidewalk, homeless. It was unbearable to me. I did not feel as if my son and I were separate people. I am better now. Thankfully. And as I learned to separate, my son did begin to step up and make some better choices. But the reality is, we can't suffer for them, because it is from their suffering that comes learning and change. Our suffering teaches them not one thing, except that they can extract benefit from us. Of all sorts: Economic. Housing. Emotional. Social. Nurture. Support. Etc. You are doing the right thing. This is a process. You are giving yourself the space to heal. And opening up space for your daughter to heal too. We can't do it for them. But we can do it for ourselves. [/QUOTE]
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Urgent—32 year old bipolar daughter pregnant and may be homeless
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