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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 557959" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well... cut a longish story short. We know, but not well, a little boy (aged 9, I think) who used to go to the same play centre as J on Wednesdays. His parents run the supermarket in the village where J goes to do sport so I quite often see them; the mother has been telling me a bit about the very messy divorce she and the boy's father are currently engaged in. She asked me if I would be willing to look after her boy on a Saturday if ever she was stuck for a childminder and I said yes. She rang this morning, asking if I could take him... </p><p>This boy is special needs, although I don't know what the problem is. He speaks slowly and seems not as bright as you'd expect a 9 year old to be, physically very clumsy and slow, not co-ordinated. Quite sweet. He is very keen on J... but together they are not a good combination. They quickly get into play fighting, that then turns serious and the older boy particularly is too hard in his gestures - gave J a bloody nose in the car (after J had provoked it with his touching and pushing, etc) </p><p>Anyway, at one point in the day they were both outside playing as I was getting the car ready to take J horse riding (which he's now doing instead of rugby and loves, loves, loves) and I heard something smashing and lots of delighted giggles and cries of encouragement from this other boy... I ran up and saw... that J had a stick in his hand and had smashed out all the glass in the shed door belonging to my neighbours who have a holiday home here. </p><p>I was absolutely furious... he's never done anything seriously destructive like this before. Generally I don't punish him, but no doubt in my mind he has to have a consequence for this... I quite often buy him little toys and I told him that he would have no toys bought for him until Christmas, because I will have to pay for a replacement window. Instead of his usual protests and shouting, he just accepted that without a word.</p><p>Talking to both of them useless... the 9 year old seemed to have no concept it was wrong or naughty and neither did J... god knows what they thought they were doing. </p><p>Now I have to tell the pair of elderly brothers who look after the house in the owners' absence what has happened, and offer to pay for a replacement set of panes. Which I know is going to be gossiped about and J will go down as the turbulent, lawless hooligan... I'm tempted to say it was him and another boy together, even though not strictly true. Unethical? Maybe but... I just don't want J being seen as a hoodlum. </p><p>I really don't know how it seems in J's head or why on earth he would do this... he must know it's wrong (of course he now understands that after my furious scolding) and yet just kept saying "I didn't know - why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>Oy vey...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 557959, member: 11227"] Well... cut a longish story short. We know, but not well, a little boy (aged 9, I think) who used to go to the same play centre as J on Wednesdays. His parents run the supermarket in the village where J goes to do sport so I quite often see them; the mother has been telling me a bit about the very messy divorce she and the boy's father are currently engaged in. She asked me if I would be willing to look after her boy on a Saturday if ever she was stuck for a childminder and I said yes. She rang this morning, asking if I could take him... This boy is special needs, although I don't know what the problem is. He speaks slowly and seems not as bright as you'd expect a 9 year old to be, physically very clumsy and slow, not co-ordinated. Quite sweet. He is very keen on J... but together they are not a good combination. They quickly get into play fighting, that then turns serious and the older boy particularly is too hard in his gestures - gave J a bloody nose in the car (after J had provoked it with his touching and pushing, etc) Anyway, at one point in the day they were both outside playing as I was getting the car ready to take J horse riding (which he's now doing instead of rugby and loves, loves, loves) and I heard something smashing and lots of delighted giggles and cries of encouragement from this other boy... I ran up and saw... that J had a stick in his hand and had smashed out all the glass in the shed door belonging to my neighbours who have a holiday home here. I was absolutely furious... he's never done anything seriously destructive like this before. Generally I don't punish him, but no doubt in my mind he has to have a consequence for this... I quite often buy him little toys and I told him that he would have no toys bought for him until Christmas, because I will have to pay for a replacement window. Instead of his usual protests and shouting, he just accepted that without a word. Talking to both of them useless... the 9 year old seemed to have no concept it was wrong or naughty and neither did J... god knows what they thought they were doing. Now I have to tell the pair of elderly brothers who look after the house in the owners' absence what has happened, and offer to pay for a replacement set of panes. Which I know is going to be gossiped about and J will go down as the turbulent, lawless hooligan... I'm tempted to say it was him and another boy together, even though not strictly true. Unethical? Maybe but... I just don't want J being seen as a hoodlum. I really don't know how it seems in J's head or why on earth he would do this... he must know it's wrong (of course he now understands that after my furious scolding) and yet just kept saying "I didn't know - why didn't you tell me?" Oy vey... [/QUOTE]
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