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Parent Emeritus
Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 754010" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I asked for feedback and that's what I got - exactly what I need to hear with honesty, compassion, wisdom, strength. Sorry to have not right away, but I was occupied with my 87 year old stepdad who had emergency surgery after breaking both his arm and his hip.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how to quote someone else's words, so if someone could direct me to directions about doing that, that would be great. </p><p></p><p>So many of you said things I will keep reading to give me clarity and strength. Just to make clear, his portion of the rent is $400. I am not feeling good about myself right now, but still shameful and weak. This has been going on for 20 years with my DS. Even though I enable less, I still fall down. Copa, it's painful to read the truth, and I know what you say is the truth, and I need to hear it, so I am grateful for you saying it straight. The only way I will change is to not stay in denial.</p><p></p><p>To JayPee, Beta, New Leaf, Chickpea, Triedntrue, Busynmember, Beta, and WiseChoices your words are encouraging, understanding, and helpful. There's a saying that we make choices based on what we feel, not on what we think. I know that when I enable my son, it's because I don't want to feel the pain of him being homeless, stressed. I want him to do better, so I won't hurt emotionally. It works only momentarily, and as you can see from my original post, sometimes not even momentarily.</p><p></p><p>I have attended twelve step for many years, but have lapsed because of my stepdad's care and other things. I will make a point of going back. I believe in a higher power, read, and meditate.</p><p></p><p>Thank you again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 754010, member: 19832"] I asked for feedback and that's what I got - exactly what I need to hear with honesty, compassion, wisdom, strength. Sorry to have not right away, but I was occupied with my 87 year old stepdad who had emergency surgery after breaking both his arm and his hip. I don't know how to quote someone else's words, so if someone could direct me to directions about doing that, that would be great. So many of you said things I will keep reading to give me clarity and strength. Just to make clear, his portion of the rent is $400. I am not feeling good about myself right now, but still shameful and weak. This has been going on for 20 years with my DS. Even though I enable less, I still fall down. Copa, it's painful to read the truth, and I know what you say is the truth, and I need to hear it, so I am grateful for you saying it straight. The only way I will change is to not stay in denial. To JayPee, Beta, New Leaf, Chickpea, Triedntrue, Busynmember, Beta, and WiseChoices your words are encouraging, understanding, and helpful. There's a saying that we make choices based on what we feel, not on what we think. I know that when I enable my son, it's because I don't want to feel the pain of him being homeless, stressed. I want him to do better, so I won't hurt emotionally. It works only momentarily, and as you can see from my original post, sometimes not even momentarily. I have attended twelve step for many years, but have lapsed because of my stepdad's care and other things. I will make a point of going back. I believe in a higher power, read, and meditate. Thank you again. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, but I need feedback to help grow a spine.
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