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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 723719" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Agree and yes, you nailed my emotion. As opposed to giving a million dollars; The giving of oneself painfully to obtain enough reward to ransom away this horrid state of addiction. The war, being wounded, but winning. </p><p></p><p>Not truly a giving of my right arm to my son as you aptly point out; it would be followed by the consumption of all limbs and being swallowed whole. </p><p></p><p>I can and will survive this battle and if I lose the right arm in doing so, I will indeed proudly do so. I would lose it and accept my reward of a clean and sober child/adult child now. I will however not lay my limb and life down to him for him to consume. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh so very very true. The intelligence and their use of it is baffling to me. It is like a magic trick. How did I get from here to there and not see it coming again and again. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Hubs is back we spent a lovely evening together and a quiet day today. We are honouring our time to heal and recognize our needs. </p><p></p><p>Ha as I write this I just jumped out of my skin as a police siren went off....PTSD....ugh. </p><p></p><p>The tool box now is focus on healing our jangled nerves. Preparing for what is in store and knowing how to engage in this battle on a smart fashion that will preserve us and allow our son to know he is not abandoned but let go to make his own choices. </p><p></p><p>The breadth and depth of it all....the Grand Canyon has nothing on all of us in those terms. </p><p>We were there 3 years ago. A trip son refused to join us on. The beauty of the Canyon is a good comparator; beautifully dangerous, but can be admired safely from a distance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 723719, member: 21895"] Agree and yes, you nailed my emotion. As opposed to giving a million dollars; The giving of oneself painfully to obtain enough reward to ransom away this horrid state of addiction. The war, being wounded, but winning. Not truly a giving of my right arm to my son as you aptly point out; it would be followed by the consumption of all limbs and being swallowed whole. I can and will survive this battle and if I lose the right arm in doing so, I will indeed proudly do so. I would lose it and accept my reward of a clean and sober child/adult child now. I will however not lay my limb and life down to him for him to consume. Oh so very very true. The intelligence and their use of it is baffling to me. It is like a magic trick. How did I get from here to there and not see it coming again and again. Hubs is back we spent a lovely evening together and a quiet day today. We are honouring our time to heal and recognize our needs. Ha as I write this I just jumped out of my skin as a police siren went off....PTSD....ugh. The tool box now is focus on healing our jangled nerves. Preparing for what is in store and knowing how to engage in this battle on a smart fashion that will preserve us and allow our son to know he is not abandoned but let go to make his own choices. The breadth and depth of it all....the Grand Canyon has nothing on all of us in those terms. We were there 3 years ago. A trip son refused to join us on. The beauty of the Canyon is a good comparator; beautifully dangerous, but can be admired safely from a distance. [/QUOTE]
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