It used to be very difficult for me to bite my tongue too. I created a little pep talk for myself when I wanted to give my daughter a piece of my mind, give advice or tell her all the things she was doing wrong. I told myself that if those things would have worked to make her change her life it would have happened by now because I had certainly said all the things I wanted to say and more in the past to no avail. Interestingly, in my case, when I stopped giving my opinions and advice our relationship changed. We got along better and that reinforced me keeping my mouth shut. Over time she also improved her life. I don't know if it was due to her not feeling the need to prove me wrong or if she just matured but things got better for her. Mind you, I realize she could revert back tomorrow, but I'm enjoying the way things are now. It also got easier for me to keep my mouth shut because I found that my stress stayed much lower when I did. I realized all that wasted energy could be put to better use- mostly on myself. I still worry about things and some of the things she does drive me crazy, but I don't feel as compelled to tell her about it anymore. She's an adult and can do what she wants. I know how hard it is, but I think once you get used to it you will start to appreciate it. It also leaves you free to keep your focus where it should be- on your own health and happiness. Sending peace to you.
