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Wayward daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724251" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, it is very uncaring of her, especially by her more mature age, to be so awful to you, an older woman and her mother, that you feel sick and depressed.</p><p></p><p>You may be her mom, but she is toxic to you. I dont often advise no contact, but in her case, she could kill you. I doubt she brings joy to anyone...she just seems toxic, period. Why talk to her? It will only make you sad and sick.</p><p></p><p>You dont need to cut her off completely. That is hard. You can limit how much you deal with her too, such as one call a week for ten minutes, but if she abuses you then you can end the call. Ignore texts. Less contact is better. You have done all you can. No more money. Close the Bank of Mom. Or if you hand her money, accept that you wont get paid back. This is important...it is better for your emotional health if you are not constantly disapppointed. </p><p></p><p>Ignore her personal life. Its not your business if she picks abusive men, and there is nothing you can do about her choices anyway.</p><p></p><p>Do you have kind loved ones or friends to spend time with? Hobbies? What was your life like long ago, before Daughter? Can you try enjoying your life again?</p><p></p><p>Honestly, allowing Daughter to abuse and use you is bad for BOTH of you. Daughter needs to learn boundaries and that abusing people is not an effective way to get what she wants.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724251, member: 1550"] Hon, it is very uncaring of her, especially by her more mature age, to be so awful to you, an older woman and her mother, that you feel sick and depressed. You may be her mom, but she is toxic to you. I dont often advise no contact, but in her case, she could kill you. I doubt she brings joy to anyone...she just seems toxic, period. Why talk to her? It will only make you sad and sick. You dont need to cut her off completely. That is hard. You can limit how much you deal with her too, such as one call a week for ten minutes, but if she abuses you then you can end the call. Ignore texts. Less contact is better. You have done all you can. No more money. Close the Bank of Mom. Or if you hand her money, accept that you wont get paid back. This is important...it is better for your emotional health if you are not constantly disapppointed. Ignore her personal life. Its not your business if she picks abusive men, and there is nothing you can do about her choices anyway. Do you have kind loved ones or friends to spend time with? Hobbies? What was your life like long ago, before Daughter? Can you try enjoying your life again? Honestly, allowing Daughter to abuse and use you is bad for BOTH of you. Daughter needs to learn boundaries and that abusing people is not an effective way to get what she wants. Love and hugs! [/QUOTE]
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