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Wayward daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 724270" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Tears are healing. Good for you. </p><p></p><p>newstart, being around so much mental illness, for both you and I, is the PHD program for detaching and self acceptance. Over many years I've had to detach from almost my entire bio-family and then my only child. It's been very hard. However, the relief and the new level of peace and calm that emerged as a result of those choices CANNOT be overstated. I had to wake up on every level to how I was manipulated, dragged around by skewered, broken thinking, blamed, shamed and thrown overboard continually......until I started saying no and detaching. Not one of my family members stopped on their own.....I had to change every time. I enabled and enabled and enabled until it almost killed me......and then, as I've mentioned a thousand times here, I took a 2 year long codependency course lead by therapists and what I learned there changed my entire life. As I began setting boundaries with my daughter and others, it was remarkable how much of my life changed.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there newstart. You can do this. It sure sounds as if you've reached your bottom.........it's only up from there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 724270, member: 13542"] Tears are healing. Good for you. newstart, being around so much mental illness, for both you and I, is the PHD program for detaching and self acceptance. Over many years I've had to detach from almost my entire bio-family and then my only child. It's been very hard. However, the relief and the new level of peace and calm that emerged as a result of those choices CANNOT be overstated. I had to wake up on every level to how I was manipulated, dragged around by skewered, broken thinking, blamed, shamed and thrown overboard continually......until I started saying no and detaching. Not one of my family members stopped on their own.....I had to change every time. I enabled and enabled and enabled until it almost killed me......and then, as I've mentioned a thousand times here, I took a 2 year long codependency course lead by therapists and what I learned there changed my entire life. As I began setting boundaries with my daughter and others, it was remarkable how much of my life changed. Hang in there newstart. You can do this. It sure sounds as if you've reached your bottom.........it's only up from there! [/QUOTE]
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