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Wayward daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 724283" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Recoveringenabler, I so much appreciate your note of encouragement and push to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Last night I made the decision to not speak or have very limited contact with my BiPolar (BP) daughter. I woke up this morning, slept a few extra hours, felt peace deep in my soul and knew the only other answer that I had was to detatch. I am not new to this, I had to do this for 3 months when my daughter was 28. At the time it straightened her out long enough to get a grip and I thought we could try to talk it out but her behavior is so toxic to me that my system just can't take it. In reality her behavior is unexeptable on every level. I remember when I detatched from my toxic in laws, my life immediately got better, it was like the dirty fog got cleared and I could live again. All that time they told me how horrible I was and when I asked them what I did that was so bad, they could not tell me, or they would make up stuff and try to get into my life though the door, phone, through other people, they would not leave me alone, it was a battle to keep them away and they kept trying. I learned the meaning of stalking and that is what all three of them did. I remember when I was very young and very naive, my bipolar mother in law told me that I have to accept her and that is the way it is going to be. I almost had a break down believing that I had to have her in my life, my husband was raised with her like that and thought that was normal and ignored her attacks to me, after our son died he finally saw it and put his foot down. It took me along time to blow someone off, I was raised by a very peace loving, fair grandmother and I try very hard to come to peace with each relationship. I think the preditors smell this in me and attack, I have grown up since then. I may have written this out already but I saw a meme that I have been focusing on and it said 'when a woman becomes her own best friend life gets better immediately' I thought a lot about that as I sat in the sun. I was kind to myself. My husband said to me last night that I really need to take care of myself, I have really spoiled him, yes ladies, let me tell you about my spoiled husband. I give him a manicure and pedi, every Sunday, wake up make his breakfast, pack him a nice lunch, make sure his clothes are pressed, trim all unruly hair, then I give his shoes a high shine before he walks out. oh yeah, I have a massge bed out at all times and give him deep tissue massages because his job is so demanding. We have been together a long time, buried one child, have a bipolar child, and are still real friends. I will not regret that I do what I do for him, together we will over come one more out of control, grieving bipolar person that has come to destroy our lives. It is upwards from today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 724283, member: 22416"] Recoveringenabler, I so much appreciate your note of encouragement and push to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Last night I made the decision to not speak or have very limited contact with my BiPolar (BP) daughter. I woke up this morning, slept a few extra hours, felt peace deep in my soul and knew the only other answer that I had was to detatch. I am not new to this, I had to do this for 3 months when my daughter was 28. At the time it straightened her out long enough to get a grip and I thought we could try to talk it out but her behavior is so toxic to me that my system just can't take it. In reality her behavior is unexeptable on every level. I remember when I detatched from my toxic in laws, my life immediately got better, it was like the dirty fog got cleared and I could live again. All that time they told me how horrible I was and when I asked them what I did that was so bad, they could not tell me, or they would make up stuff and try to get into my life though the door, phone, through other people, they would not leave me alone, it was a battle to keep them away and they kept trying. I learned the meaning of stalking and that is what all three of them did. I remember when I was very young and very naive, my bipolar mother in law told me that I have to accept her and that is the way it is going to be. I almost had a break down believing that I had to have her in my life, my husband was raised with her like that and thought that was normal and ignored her attacks to me, after our son died he finally saw it and put his foot down. It took me along time to blow someone off, I was raised by a very peace loving, fair grandmother and I try very hard to come to peace with each relationship. I think the preditors smell this in me and attack, I have grown up since then. I may have written this out already but I saw a meme that I have been focusing on and it said 'when a woman becomes her own best friend life gets better immediately' I thought a lot about that as I sat in the sun. I was kind to myself. My husband said to me last night that I really need to take care of myself, I have really spoiled him, yes ladies, let me tell you about my spoiled husband. I give him a manicure and pedi, every Sunday, wake up make his breakfast, pack him a nice lunch, make sure his clothes are pressed, trim all unruly hair, then I give his shoes a high shine before he walks out. oh yeah, I have a massge bed out at all times and give him deep tissue massages because his job is so demanding. We have been together a long time, buried one child, have a bipolar child, and are still real friends. I will not regret that I do what I do for him, together we will over come one more out of control, grieving bipolar person that has come to destroy our lives. It is upwards from today. [/QUOTE]
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