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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 665763" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Quicksand...there are "those days" and like you said, "today is one of them." </p><p></p><p>Even as we start to inject new thinking into our lives, it's still hard, and we will wobble back and forth between new thinking and old thinking.</p><p></p><p>That is so perfectly normal, and I remember so vividly doing that a lot, at the very beginning.</p><p></p><p>We are so afraid. I did a lot of reading about Fear, because being led by sheer terror for my son's life was how I was acting and reacting. </p><p></p><p>What do we do with this circular thinking and the sheer terror, sadness, guilt and...face it...it's grief...that we are feeling?</p><p></p><p>We move through it. We feel it. We allow ourselves the space and time to feel it, and talk about it, and write about it, and walk it off, and sleep it off and we let it flow through us. It won't kill us. I used to clench my stomach against the feelings and fight them off and deny them. </p><p></p><p>We have to feel them.</p><p></p><p>And learn not to act on them.</p><p></p><p>That is so hard and it is totally new behavior for most of us. </p><p></p><p>You already know the facts in your rational mind. So, I won't repeat them here. Today you are simply having a bad day with all of this. </p><p></p><p>Feel it. Share with us and with caring friends. Write it in a journal. Dump it all out. Cry if you need to. Rest. Pray. Meditate.</p><p></p><p>Sunday in an Al-Anon meeting, a longtime member talked about how she handles obsessive, circular thinking with meditation. She said it really works.</p><p></p><p>I was intrigued by that, as I am interested in meditation but admittedly not practicing it. Maybe I will. Maybe you will, too.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs today. Hang in there. We're here with you and we understand because we have been there, too. There is a brighter day ahead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 665763, member: 17542"] Quicksand...there are "those days" and like you said, "today is one of them." Even as we start to inject new thinking into our lives, it's still hard, and we will wobble back and forth between new thinking and old thinking. That is so perfectly normal, and I remember so vividly doing that a lot, at the very beginning. We are so afraid. I did a lot of reading about Fear, because being led by sheer terror for my son's life was how I was acting and reacting. What do we do with this circular thinking and the sheer terror, sadness, guilt and...face it...it's grief...that we are feeling? We move through it. We feel it. We allow ourselves the space and time to feel it, and talk about it, and write about it, and walk it off, and sleep it off and we let it flow through us. It won't kill us. I used to clench my stomach against the feelings and fight them off and deny them. We have to feel them. And learn not to act on them. That is so hard and it is totally new behavior for most of us. You already know the facts in your rational mind. So, I won't repeat them here. Today you are simply having a bad day with all of this. Feel it. Share with us and with caring friends. Write it in a journal. Dump it all out. Cry if you need to. Rest. Pray. Meditate. Sunday in an Al-Anon meeting, a longtime member talked about how she handles obsessive, circular thinking with meditation. She said it really works. I was intrigued by that, as I am interested in meditation but admittedly not practicing it. Maybe I will. Maybe you will, too. Warm hugs today. Hang in there. We're here with you and we understand because we have been there, too. There is a brighter day ahead. [/QUOTE]
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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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