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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 665843" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>We as their parents do not have this kind of power over our children's lives. My son over the years has told me similar things. I have come to understand that it's his way of recognizing the mess he's made of his own life but is not humble enough or willing to accept his role in it.</p><p>Quick, none of us are perfect parents. A perfect parent is a mythical creature right up there with Unicorns. We have all made mistakes as parents and our DCs like to use that against us but here's the thing, they are now adults, they can wake up each day with it being a new day. They can decide for themselves how they want to live so the fact they keep choosing to live is chaos is on them not us.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It takes time. Just keep reminding yourself that you did the best you could. Of course we all could have done things differently but that is no guarantee that anything would have turned out any different. You didn't make this happen, you have no control over your son or his choices. You have nothing to feel guilty about, nothing, nada, zip..........</p><p></p><p></p><p>It sounds like you have a meeting of the minds. Yes, you did do everything you could for him and afforded him every opportunity and yet he has made the choice to not take advantage of what was offered to him. Not much different that my own son.</p><p>Yes, your son is hurting but rather than see that he has created his own chaos he chooses to blame you. It's always easier to blame mom and dad than it is to take responsibility for the choices that have led him to where he is now.</p><p></p><p>Remember Quick, this is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. If you didn't love and care about your son you would not be here on this site.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Keep posting, we are here for you.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 665843, member: 18516"] We as their parents do not have this kind of power over our children's lives. My son over the years has told me similar things. I have come to understand that it's his way of recognizing the mess he's made of his own life but is not humble enough or willing to accept his role in it. Quick, none of us are perfect parents. A perfect parent is a mythical creature right up there with Unicorns. We have all made mistakes as parents and our DCs like to use that against us but here's the thing, they are now adults, they can wake up each day with it being a new day. They can decide for themselves how they want to live so the fact they keep choosing to live is chaos is on them not us. It takes time. Just keep reminding yourself that you did the best you could. Of course we all could have done things differently but that is no guarantee that anything would have turned out any different. You didn't make this happen, you have no control over your son or his choices. You have nothing to feel guilty about, nothing, nada, zip.......... It sounds like you have a meeting of the minds. Yes, you did do everything you could for him and afforded him every opportunity and yet he has made the choice to not take advantage of what was offered to him. Not much different that my own son. Yes, your son is hurting but rather than see that he has created his own chaos he chooses to blame you. It's always easier to blame mom and dad than it is to take responsibility for the choices that have led him to where he is now. Remember Quick, this is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. If you didn't love and care about your son you would not be here on this site. Hang in there. Keep posting, we are here for you. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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