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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759313" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am sorry Busy. I believe I am the one who you felt attacked by. I am nobody and in no position to scold anybody. And, I have pulled back greatly from posting. </p><p></p><p>What I reacted to, and it was wrong of me, was something in myself. A knee-jerk need to deny what is in front of my face. I have a great need to hold onto fantasy and hope, not only because of my son but because of my own past. I seem to have needed to blot out my own feelings of pain and despair. So what we are talking about here is a projection on my part. The need to blot out in others, what is really in me. In the past year especially I am more aware, but this doesn't account for the pain I have caused by my self-limitation.</p><p></p><p>It's ironic that in the first few years I was here, I reacted to somebody in the same way you experience me. I saw her as critical and overbearing and negative. I am seeing that what I reacted to in her, was the mirror image of myself. I am sorry, Busy.</p><p></p><p>I will comment now on your observation about the board. I think the board is in transition. I see a number of old members returning and little by little new members coming on. I think for the past couple of years the board has become gentler and more self-disclosive. We are bringing more of ourselves here. For good and ill. Those are just my thoughts. Like you, I believe there is a great commitment to this board, as well as a great need for it. I also believe this board can tolerate honesty and clear voices, and difference--as well as vulnerability. I am grateful to you for your honesty. I would like to believe you appreciate my own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759313, member: 18958"] I am sorry Busy. I believe I am the one who you felt attacked by. I am nobody and in no position to scold anybody. And, I have pulled back greatly from posting. What I reacted to, and it was wrong of me, was something in myself. A knee-jerk need to deny what is in front of my face. I have a great need to hold onto fantasy and hope, not only because of my son but because of my own past. I seem to have needed to blot out my own feelings of pain and despair. So what we are talking about here is a projection on my part. The need to blot out in others, what is really in me. In the past year especially I am more aware, but this doesn't account for the pain I have caused by my self-limitation. It's ironic that in the first few years I was here, I reacted to somebody in the same way you experience me. I saw her as critical and overbearing and negative. I am seeing that what I reacted to in her, was the mirror image of myself. I am sorry, Busy. I will comment now on your observation about the board. I think the board is in transition. I see a number of old members returning and little by little new members coming on. I think for the past couple of years the board has become gentler and more self-disclosive. We are bringing more of ourselves here. For good and ill. Those are just my thoughts. Like you, I believe there is a great commitment to this board, as well as a great need for it. I also believe this board can tolerate honesty and clear voices, and difference--as well as vulnerability. I am grateful to you for your honesty. I would like to believe you appreciate my own. [/QUOTE]
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