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Weary mom has had enough
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626606" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>You are finally ready. That's a good day when we are finally ready to stop. </p><p></p><p>Good day for them. Good day for us.</p><p></p><p>We get there when we get there. And sometimes even after we get there, we go back a bit, and then usually, we get burned again, and then we are ready to stop.</p><p></p><p>This is hard, hard stuff. This is stuff most people in the world will never have to learn how to do. When our own precious children---now adults----continue to act out and not take responsibility and not follow the rules of society and lean on us to save them over and over and over and over again---and we do---and still nothing changes---in fact it often just gets worse---we finally learn. </p><p></p><p>I am still taking steps forward in this awful journey. I am glad for this site, and other tools like Al-Anon and books and writing and prayer and exercise and doing nice things for me that are giving me a foundation to stand on so I can value myself as much as I value my difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I am thankful for the outrageousness of the things difficult child has done because the situations are so far off course that they get my attention. Nobody acts like this. Nobody would think this is remotely acceptable. Nobody would tolerate this.</p><p></p><p>I tolerated so much for so long because it happened slowly at first. The downturn was a long downward gradual slope not a steep dropoff like it has been for the past nearly five years.</p><p></p><p>I just thought he was immature and lazy. For way too long. </p><p></p><p>And then he was an adult and he started getting caught. The stakes were much higher. The decisions were taken out of my hands. </p><p></p><p>Now he's almost 25 and he's really dug a deep hole for himself. Not impossible to climb out of---nothing is impossible----but quite frankly, unless there is a spiritual awakening---unlikely.</p><p></p><p>We have to focus on ourselves at some point. Glad you are at that point---for you. Blessings and hugs and prayers for you and your family tonight. Including your daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626606, member: 17542"] You are finally ready. That's a good day when we are finally ready to stop. Good day for them. Good day for us. We get there when we get there. And sometimes even after we get there, we go back a bit, and then usually, we get burned again, and then we are ready to stop. This is hard, hard stuff. This is stuff most people in the world will never have to learn how to do. When our own precious children---now adults----continue to act out and not take responsibility and not follow the rules of society and lean on us to save them over and over and over and over again---and we do---and still nothing changes---in fact it often just gets worse---we finally learn. I am still taking steps forward in this awful journey. I am glad for this site, and other tools like Al-Anon and books and writing and prayer and exercise and doing nice things for me that are giving me a foundation to stand on so I can value myself as much as I value my difficult child. Sometimes I am thankful for the outrageousness of the things difficult child has done because the situations are so far off course that they get my attention. Nobody acts like this. Nobody would think this is remotely acceptable. Nobody would tolerate this. I tolerated so much for so long because it happened slowly at first. The downturn was a long downward gradual slope not a steep dropoff like it has been for the past nearly five years. I just thought he was immature and lazy. For way too long. And then he was an adult and he started getting caught. The stakes were much higher. The decisions were taken out of my hands. Now he's almost 25 and he's really dug a deep hole for himself. Not impossible to climb out of---nothing is impossible----but quite frankly, unless there is a spiritual awakening---unlikely. We have to focus on ourselves at some point. Glad you are at that point---for you. Blessings and hugs and prayers for you and your family tonight. Including your daughter. [/QUOTE]
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