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<blockquote data-quote="Hope_Floats" data-source="post: 646342" data-attributes="member: 18310">Wow, Lil, I can so relate to this. I also got tired of my own histrionics.AND I over-talked everything, trying to make myself feel better, but in the process diluting the message.I learned, and you will learn, to stop at the word &quot;either&quot;, or &quot;find his own way&quot;. The last four sentences show hesitation, a weak spot, an opportunity to get something from you and then more. Why did you feel the need to do that? You've already said you're not willing to do any more, then you say, in relation to ANOTHER difficult child, that you're willing to do SOMETHING, but, as usual, nothing more. That always leaves the door open to see how much there actually is left. Any good negotiator knows never to leave money on the table. Heck, to give difficult children credit for being smart, I learned that in an MBA level class.It also, if I can be so honest as to say, Lil, I think lowers his respect for you. And that doesn't help him. (Another lesson hard learned after reading my own difficult child's journal. Sigh)I would ask myself why I have to tell my difficult child what I &quot;might&quot; do for his friend, if x, y, or z happens.Lil, I know it's hard to see, and maybe it isn't even there....maybe it's just my out-of-context skewed perspective, but I observe that not only does he believe that HE can still take advantage of your (in his opinion weak) kindness, but he can still pimp it out to his loser friends as well.I like you and jabber a lot, even though we haven't met. Please don't be used. Especially by people you didn't birth or ever agree to take responsibility for (difficult child's friends).</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Hope_Floats, post: 646342, member: 18310"] Wow, Lil, I can so relate to this. I also got tired of my own histrionics. AND I over-talked everything, trying to make myself feel better, but in the process diluting the message. I learned, and you will learn, to stop at the word "either", or "find his own way". The last four sentences show hesitation, a weak spot, an opportunity to get something from you and then more. Why did you feel the need to do that? You've already said you're not willing to do any more, then you say, in relation to ANOTHER difficult child, that you're willing to do SOMETHING, but, as usual, nothing more. That always leaves the door open to see how much there actually is left. Any good negotiator knows never to leave money on the table. Heck, to give difficult children credit for being smart, I learned that in an MBA level class. It also, if I can be so honest as to say, Lil, I think lowers his respect for you. And that doesn't help him. (Another lesson hard learned after reading my own difficult child's journal. Sigh) I would ask myself why I have to tell my difficult child what I "might" do for his friend, if x, y, or z happens. Lil, I know it's hard to see, and maybe it isn't even there....maybe it's just my out-of-context skewed perspective, but I observe that not only does he believe that HE can still take advantage of your (in his opinion weak) kindness, but he can still pimp it out to his loser friends as well. I like you and jabber a lot, even though we haven't met. Please don't be used. Especially by people you didn't birth or ever agree to take responsibility for (difficult child's friends). [/QUOTE]

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