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Parent Emeritus
Well I'm back and being stupid still...again!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 15737" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Cookie, I didn't see this post yesterday. I did see that difficult child did get his licence today and posted to that thread. I see you are being very hard on yourself. That is only going to make you more depressed. I also wonder if you are trying to show your difficult child that he was loved just as wholly by his step mother as anyone ever could be by a bio mom. The thing is, he knows that, your husband knows that and you know that too. </p><p></p><p>For years you have been in the care giver mode. But your difficult child doesn't need a care giver anymore. He needs a strong caring person to stand up to him and force him to take care of himself. You didn't think you could do that so your husband said he would and you agreed to let him. I think you just need to reaffirm within yourself that that is the best thing and you will get your strength and resolve back. </p><p></p><p>I am sure your difficult child is depressed as well he should be. He screwed up royally and he is going to pay for that in many ways throughout his life. But catering to him and allowing him to wollow in self pitty isn't going to make anything better. You know that. And to choose that over your husband doesn't make any sence at all.</p><p></p><p>You can be kind and nurturing toward your difficult child without being enabeling. You are a smart and wonderful and caring person. Let yourself be that. Go on with your life suport yur husband's limit setting and reast easy in the knowledge that you and he are acting out of love. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 15737, member: 2315"] Cookie, I didn't see this post yesterday. I did see that difficult child did get his licence today and posted to that thread. I see you are being very hard on yourself. That is only going to make you more depressed. I also wonder if you are trying to show your difficult child that he was loved just as wholly by his step mother as anyone ever could be by a bio mom. The thing is, he knows that, your husband knows that and you know that too. For years you have been in the care giver mode. But your difficult child doesn't need a care giver anymore. He needs a strong caring person to stand up to him and force him to take care of himself. You didn't think you could do that so your husband said he would and you agreed to let him. I think you just need to reaffirm within yourself that that is the best thing and you will get your strength and resolve back. I am sure your difficult child is depressed as well he should be. He screwed up royally and he is going to pay for that in many ways throughout his life. But catering to him and allowing him to wollow in self pitty isn't going to make anything better. You know that. And to choose that over your husband doesn't make any sence at all. You can be kind and nurturing toward your difficult child without being enabeling. You are a smart and wonderful and caring person. Let yourself be that. Go on with your life suport yur husband's limit setting and reast easy in the knowledge that you and he are acting out of love. -RM [/QUOTE]
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Well I'm back and being stupid still...again!!!!!!!
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