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Parent Emeritus
Well, my friends, I am back and it is not good news . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 352546" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have borderline and bipolar and I don't steal. My mom threw me out (for reasons unrelated to my mental illness, but I think she had the same disorders I have only tenfold). I had to survive and I chose to get help and have done steadily better all my life. I never abused drugs, always went to my appointments, did self-help, tried very hard to get where I'm at...all without ANY parental involvement because they didn't care. I feel that their not caring HELPED me. Yes, HELPED me. Nobody enabled me so I had to do the best I could myself. </p><p></p><p>Because Ive had a hard life myself psychiatrically, I would definitely hold her to the standards of most twenty-four year olds (and, yes, I think you'd find she is using drugs...and maybe abusing her own Adderrall...that's a hot drug on the street). Whether she is hooked on prescription drugs or using recreational drugs or both, she needs help and she isn't motivated to get it. Stealing from you? Are you kidding? My daughter would be out the door, with a list of resources. She couldn't live with me unless she was first acting responsible OUT of my house. I'd need the proof.</p><p></p><p>You can waste your entire life worrying about your daughter, who does not seem compelled to make her life better, or you can enjoy these supposed-to-be empty nest years and disengage. There are a lot of "mentally fragile" people. Not all of them are abusive, take drugs, or steal. Many try to get healthy. </p><p></p><p>If this were me, and it's just my opinion, I'd give her 30 days eviction time and no money in between. If she stole during that time, I'd call the cops. I would let her know before she did it, that the gig is up and that I WILL call the cops if she steals from me. Then on Day 30, if she hasn't straightened out, she'd be gone with a list of resources that could help her find housing, names of drug rehabs, and homeless shelters. It may sound tough, but my own daughter also straightened out with Tough Love. She has been clean for seven years now. She is back in school, on her own, bought a house with her SO and is both in school full time to be a pastry chef and working full time (a grueling schedule for an ex-difficult child drug addict). I truly believe kid gloves and third and forth chances don't motivate the unhealthy to get clean and get help. Of course, this is JMO.</p><p></p><p>I feel for your mommy heart; been there/done that. And I wish you luck, no matter what you decide to do. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 352546, member: 1550"] I have borderline and bipolar and I don't steal. My mom threw me out (for reasons unrelated to my mental illness, but I think she had the same disorders I have only tenfold). I had to survive and I chose to get help and have done steadily better all my life. I never abused drugs, always went to my appointments, did self-help, tried very hard to get where I'm at...all without ANY parental involvement because they didn't care. I feel that their not caring HELPED me. Yes, HELPED me. Nobody enabled me so I had to do the best I could myself. Because Ive had a hard life myself psychiatrically, I would definitely hold her to the standards of most twenty-four year olds (and, yes, I think you'd find she is using drugs...and maybe abusing her own Adderrall...that's a hot drug on the street). Whether she is hooked on prescription drugs or using recreational drugs or both, she needs help and she isn't motivated to get it. Stealing from you? Are you kidding? My daughter would be out the door, with a list of resources. She couldn't live with me unless she was first acting responsible OUT of my house. I'd need the proof. You can waste your entire life worrying about your daughter, who does not seem compelled to make her life better, or you can enjoy these supposed-to-be empty nest years and disengage. There are a lot of "mentally fragile" people. Not all of them are abusive, take drugs, or steal. Many try to get healthy. If this were me, and it's just my opinion, I'd give her 30 days eviction time and no money in between. If she stole during that time, I'd call the cops. I would let her know before she did it, that the gig is up and that I WILL call the cops if she steals from me. Then on Day 30, if she hasn't straightened out, she'd be gone with a list of resources that could help her find housing, names of drug rehabs, and homeless shelters. It may sound tough, but my own daughter also straightened out with Tough Love. She has been clean for seven years now. She is back in school, on her own, bought a house with her SO and is both in school full time to be a pastry chef and working full time (a grueling schedule for an ex-difficult child drug addict). I truly believe kid gloves and third and forth chances don't motivate the unhealthy to get clean and get help. Of course, this is JMO. I feel for your mommy heart; been there/done that. And I wish you luck, no matter what you decide to do. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Well, my friends, I am back and it is not good news . . .
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