It's not just you Susie, I've seen this for many years, clear back when my own kids were small.
I gave my kids a bedtime because as a child I never had one and I remember too well all the times I fell asleep at my desk because my Mom drug me somewhere late in the evening. (we got up at 4:30 am regardless of when we went to bed) And quite frankly I believe all parents need downtime to relax before going to bed.
My kids had to earn privileges. When they were little they weren't allowed to touch the tv or even it's remote, or radio, phone and the like. They couldn't even just go get themselves something to eat or drink, they had to ask first. The answer was usually yes unless a meal was coming up, but heaven help them if they didn't ask. The girls weren't allowed barbies until they were 7-8 yrs old. Most of their friends were getting them at age 2. Back then boomboxes were the rage. My kids never saw one until they were 16, their friends were breaking them at about age 6-8. As teens they were strongly encouraged to go out and work, as except for very basic things I stopped buying their clothes ect. They all had chores. Not doing them right just meant you did it over and over until you did do it right. Chores were chosen on what best suited the child. Sports were a luxury and they each got one parent funded year. After that it was up to them to finance and transportation. My kids didn't even watch prime time tv until they were teens.
When the kids would complain about something they weren't allowed to have until a certain age, I'd say well if I gave it to you now what would you have to look forward to when you're older?
Although with that older part came new responsibility too. By the time they were 17-18 they were pretty much taking care of their own business with mom just supervising. Travis was a little later, but even he wasn't too far behind his sisters.
I understand the desire to give your kids what you never had, but one has to be careful. I taught my kids all the years that they were growing up that the day they left our house they wouldn't be living at the same level anymore. I taught them to expect the lean and sometimes hard first years out on their own. So many kids today don't think their ready to leave home because they can't furnish a place with all the nice things their parents have, when they don't realize it took their parents a lifetime to acquire those nice things.
