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What do I do with almost 19 year old son--smoking pot
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 439987" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>First welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us, but glad you did. Kids do not realize that pot is not the same drug it use to be. The TPC or is TCP level is over twice what it use to be-genetic engineering of course. It's an even riskier gateway drug than it use to be. He's had some pretty nasty natural consequences and my advise it to not, I mean <strong>not</strong>, save him from them in any way. This is hard to do. Fines? He has to figure it out. Job? He has to figure it out. Pay for college? He has to figure it out (Why would you pay for someone to barely pass or not pass at all? This is money lost). Something is going on in his head. </p><p></p><p> Honestly, many of us went a little hog wild when we were off on our own the first time. Never comes out very well by the way. While I didn't flunk school, I did start trying alcohol when I was 19 (the legal age in Idaho at the time). This cost money I didn't have and several times I got myself pretty sick. Not good! I did manage to quit it. When you don't turn in assignments because you are sick all weekend, it costs you. In the end it was a short fling. I had noone to bail me out, so I had to figure out how to by eat and pay the electric bill a few times. </p><p></p><p>However, given that this is a whole school year of "bad" events, maybe there is something up. Could you get him to a counselor? Has he ever had trouble with depression? Maybe even going to a 12 step meeting might help you and him. 12 step meetings for you would be great because they teach you to not enable. It is easy to fall into the "mama-bear" enabling thing. It often feels so cruel to us to turn off our instincts. He is 19 and you only have a little influence. Most of this influence is in you and his dads pocketbook. Use it. I would not give him a dime-he'll spend it on pot most likely anyway. I would not pay for another year of school unless he spends the summer getting on track and getting sober. The only thing I would do is find the 12 step meeting schedules in your area or a counselor your insurence covers.</p><p></p><p>Our daughter is 16, but we have been through the ringer the last 2 years. Pot was just the beginning. However it was the red-flag that told us something was wrong-we had no idea how wrong until we got into it. Please try to get some help for him.</p><p></p><p>Others will be along that have more experience with adult children and drugs. You might want to check out the parent emeratis section and post there as well. This forum has less traffic.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and know that you are not alone. Please keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 439987, member: 11001"] First welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us, but glad you did. Kids do not realize that pot is not the same drug it use to be. The TPC or is TCP level is over twice what it use to be-genetic engineering of course. It's an even riskier gateway drug than it use to be. He's had some pretty nasty natural consequences and my advise it to not, I mean [B]not[/B], save him from them in any way. This is hard to do. Fines? He has to figure it out. Job? He has to figure it out. Pay for college? He has to figure it out (Why would you pay for someone to barely pass or not pass at all? This is money lost). Something is going on in his head. Honestly, many of us went a little hog wild when we were off on our own the first time. Never comes out very well by the way. While I didn't flunk school, I did start trying alcohol when I was 19 (the legal age in Idaho at the time). This cost money I didn't have and several times I got myself pretty sick. Not good! I did manage to quit it. When you don't turn in assignments because you are sick all weekend, it costs you. In the end it was a short fling. I had noone to bail me out, so I had to figure out how to by eat and pay the electric bill a few times. However, given that this is a whole school year of "bad" events, maybe there is something up. Could you get him to a counselor? Has he ever had trouble with depression? Maybe even going to a 12 step meeting might help you and him. 12 step meetings for you would be great because they teach you to not enable. It is easy to fall into the "mama-bear" enabling thing. It often feels so cruel to us to turn off our instincts. He is 19 and you only have a little influence. Most of this influence is in you and his dads pocketbook. Use it. I would not give him a dime-he'll spend it on pot most likely anyway. I would not pay for another year of school unless he spends the summer getting on track and getting sober. The only thing I would do is find the 12 step meeting schedules in your area or a counselor your insurence covers. Our daughter is 16, but we have been through the ringer the last 2 years. Pot was just the beginning. However it was the red-flag that told us something was wrong-we had no idea how wrong until we got into it. Please try to get some help for him. Others will be along that have more experience with adult children and drugs. You might want to check out the parent emeratis section and post there as well. This forum has less traffic. Hugs to you and know that you are not alone. Please keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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