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Substance Abuse
What do I do with almost 19 year old son--smoking pot
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 628780" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>feelinghelpless - You have received excellent advice already. I hope you find it helpful.</p><p></p><p>When our now 20yo difficult child went off to college a couple of years ago, he had graduated high school with honors and never been in trouble for drug use, etc. But he immediately started drinking when he went to college, and he also flunked out after two semesters. He wanted the degree, but was not willing to do the work to earn it.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward . . . and things have only become worse since then.</p><p></p><p>Definitely do not pay for any more college at this point. Your son has a substance abuse problem. It is interfering with his ability to succeed in life, and hopefully he will seek help and make proper decisions to overcome it.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, you cannot make your son's decisions for him. You can only choose not to further enable him to continue down this path. Before you "help" your son in any way, consider whether you are actually helping him continue to do what he has been doing, which is not the direction you want to take. Only when your son's problems become his own problems, might he become uncomfortable enough to do something about them. Remember that he is an adult and that he is responsible for his own choices now. It is hard to watch and have no control over it, I know, but that is exactly what needs to happen. The sooner you stop rescuing him, the sooner HE will be moved to do something about HIS problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 628780, member: 4855"] feelinghelpless - You have received excellent advice already. I hope you find it helpful. When our now 20yo difficult child went off to college a couple of years ago, he had graduated high school with honors and never been in trouble for drug use, etc. But he immediately started drinking when he went to college, and he also flunked out after two semesters. He wanted the degree, but was not willing to do the work to earn it. Fast forward . . . and things have only become worse since then. Definitely do not pay for any more college at this point. Your son has a substance abuse problem. It is interfering with his ability to succeed in life, and hopefully he will seek help and make proper decisions to overcome it. Unfortunately, you cannot make your son's decisions for him. You can only choose not to further enable him to continue down this path. Before you "help" your son in any way, consider whether you are actually helping him continue to do what he has been doing, which is not the direction you want to take. Only when your son's problems become his own problems, might he become uncomfortable enough to do something about them. Remember that he is an adult and that he is responsible for his own choices now. It is hard to watch and have no control over it, I know, but that is exactly what needs to happen. The sooner you stop rescuing him, the sooner HE will be moved to do something about HIS problems. [/QUOTE]
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What do I do with almost 19 year old son--smoking pot
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