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What do you do when your child is raging?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 345262" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I get this, but we do need to keep in mind that time spent with our children is an investment in them.</p><p></p><p>But of course, you have other responsibilities, so you have to compromise. he has to learn that compromise, but it's something he's just not able to understand yet.</p><p></p><p>I'm wondering - he sounds like he's craving stimulation. What activity can you set up for him to do, that will keep his brain occupied?</p><p>Something we did with difficult child 3 (especially one time when we were on holidays, and he would wake us each morning wanting our undivided attention) was we invested in puzzle games. things like "Stormy Seas", "River Crossing", "Tipover" are great single-player mind workers. We bought various puzzles and similar, make sure that bits don't get lost (even if we have to make a small labelled cloth bag for each of these). Another thing we bought on holidays once that has been a godsend, was the 20Q game. It turned out to be very useful for helping difficult child 3's brain pathways to dig in deeper, with language connections. But the thing with these games - they keep him occupied. Jigsaw puzzles are good, so are mazes, Sudoku or similar. Crosswords. Start him at a level he can handle, begin by working with him a bit. Also play these yourself and challenge him to see how fast he/you can work through the levels (so he will try and stay ahead of you!)</p><p></p><p>I remember when we bought "Stormy Seas" for difficult child 3 while we were on holidays, we would get up and find he had been up for hours but quiet, working through the puzzles. We bought these things from "brain teaser" type of stores. </p><p></p><p>An electronics kit can be good. Or a Meccano set or similar. The rules are - if you spread it everywhere, you have to pick up the pieces or risk them getting gone forever up the vacuum cleaner. Or you can make a play mat by getting a circle of heavy fabric (corduroy, or a cotton blanket) and putting eyelets around the edge. Thread a cord trough the eyelets, then store the toys etc in the bag this makes when you pull up the cord. To play, he just puts it on the floor, opens it up and spreads the mat out flat. To pick it up in a hurry, just grab the cord. But it is better with these special toys, to carefully collect the bits up first and put them away in the box.</p><p></p><p>You find what works, then set it up with him ahead of time. he may forget first thing in the morning, so you get him into a habit. Maybe write out a list of things to do (like a morning routine) so it begins with, "Get yourself some cereal. Then get dressed. Play games - here is a list of what you may play. When Dad or I come out, we will be able to do X with you for 15 minutes."</p><p></p><p>Leave off that last one if you have to hit the ground running and get to work. But at some stage in your day, you have to make time to just lay with him. Set it up in 15 minute blocks and you can even use those 15 minute blocks of time as rewards for his behaviour. Again - this worked for us with difficult child 3. The reward isn't the play, it's the play WITH YOU. It's also getting away from materialism, and back to spending time together, as the reward.</p><p></p><p>I posted in more length on your other thread.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 345262, member: 1991"] I get this, but we do need to keep in mind that time spent with our children is an investment in them. But of course, you have other responsibilities, so you have to compromise. he has to learn that compromise, but it's something he's just not able to understand yet. I'm wondering - he sounds like he's craving stimulation. What activity can you set up for him to do, that will keep his brain occupied? Something we did with difficult child 3 (especially one time when we were on holidays, and he would wake us each morning wanting our undivided attention) was we invested in puzzle games. things like "Stormy Seas", "River Crossing", "Tipover" are great single-player mind workers. We bought various puzzles and similar, make sure that bits don't get lost (even if we have to make a small labelled cloth bag for each of these). Another thing we bought on holidays once that has been a godsend, was the 20Q game. It turned out to be very useful for helping difficult child 3's brain pathways to dig in deeper, with language connections. But the thing with these games - they keep him occupied. Jigsaw puzzles are good, so are mazes, Sudoku or similar. Crosswords. Start him at a level he can handle, begin by working with him a bit. Also play these yourself and challenge him to see how fast he/you can work through the levels (so he will try and stay ahead of you!) I remember when we bought "Stormy Seas" for difficult child 3 while we were on holidays, we would get up and find he had been up for hours but quiet, working through the puzzles. We bought these things from "brain teaser" type of stores. An electronics kit can be good. Or a Meccano set or similar. The rules are - if you spread it everywhere, you have to pick up the pieces or risk them getting gone forever up the vacuum cleaner. Or you can make a play mat by getting a circle of heavy fabric (corduroy, or a cotton blanket) and putting eyelets around the edge. Thread a cord trough the eyelets, then store the toys etc in the bag this makes when you pull up the cord. To play, he just puts it on the floor, opens it up and spreads the mat out flat. To pick it up in a hurry, just grab the cord. But it is better with these special toys, to carefully collect the bits up first and put them away in the box. You find what works, then set it up with him ahead of time. he may forget first thing in the morning, so you get him into a habit. Maybe write out a list of things to do (like a morning routine) so it begins with, "Get yourself some cereal. Then get dressed. Play games - here is a list of what you may play. When Dad or I come out, we will be able to do X with you for 15 minutes." Leave off that last one if you have to hit the ground running and get to work. But at some stage in your day, you have to make time to just lay with him. Set it up in 15 minute blocks and you can even use those 15 minute blocks of time as rewards for his behaviour. Again - this worked for us with difficult child 3. The reward isn't the play, it's the play WITH YOU. It's also getting away from materialism, and back to spending time together, as the reward. I posted in more length on your other thread. Marg [/QUOTE]
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