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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 694261" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Well, I am having good days and not so good since hubs passed. It is a one day at a time, one foot forward kind of challenge. I am trying to keep my head above water and be strong for my son. I do have my moments when there is this huge void. Of course.......that is it in a nutshell, there is so much to be done on top of the emotional roller coaster.</p><p>My question is due to my Blossom prodding me to meet Rain "half way". She has been visiting her weekly at the park where she lives, taking her canned goods and some essentials. "Dad would want the family to be together." She said. "Just go and see her, maybe bring her some food.......it may help her......"</p><p>I have to tell you, at this point the thought scares me. I love her deeply, but so much has happened between us for so many years. I have been her target (as you know from my posts) in the triangulation game, and I do not feel up for manipulation or the usual look of hatred in her eyes. According to her sister, Rain is on a waiting list for a shelter.......I don't know guys. I would think she would need rehab to get off the meth, get on her feet. I have worked so hard to move past all of this and the combination of my two daughters using drugs, using us, tugging at my heart, plus grieving over my husband seems such a heavy load.</p><p>As I write this, there is a twinge of guilt. She is my daughter. I love her. But, loving her has been so, so hard on me. Every time I have reached out, I have been burned. According to her, it is all my fault (sound familiar?), and I have worked hard to remind myself that I made mistakes but for the most part was a loving mom. On the other hand, past the guilt twinge, there is a "warning do not enter" sign flashing in my head. I am in self protect mode. I saw no signs of remorse or change, kind of a flat affect throughout my husbands life celebration. </p><p>I think I will sit with the idea a bit before doing anything. </p><p>There is a small battle waging in my heart.......and a burning in my stomach.</p><p>Any of your ideas and advice will be most appreciated. </p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 694261, member: 19522"] Well, I am having good days and not so good since hubs passed. It is a one day at a time, one foot forward kind of challenge. I am trying to keep my head above water and be strong for my son. I do have my moments when there is this huge void. Of course.......that is it in a nutshell, there is so much to be done on top of the emotional roller coaster. My question is due to my Blossom prodding me to meet Rain "half way". She has been visiting her weekly at the park where she lives, taking her canned goods and some essentials. "Dad would want the family to be together." She said. "Just go and see her, maybe bring her some food.......it may help her......" I have to tell you, at this point the thought scares me. I love her deeply, but so much has happened between us for so many years. I have been her target (as you know from my posts) in the triangulation game, and I do not feel up for manipulation or the usual look of hatred in her eyes. According to her sister, Rain is on a waiting list for a shelter.......I don't know guys. I would think she would need rehab to get off the meth, get on her feet. I have worked so hard to move past all of this and the combination of my two daughters using drugs, using us, tugging at my heart, plus grieving over my husband seems such a heavy load. As I write this, there is a twinge of guilt. She is my daughter. I love her. But, loving her has been so, so hard on me. Every time I have reached out, I have been burned. According to her, it is all my fault (sound familiar?), and I have worked hard to remind myself that I made mistakes but for the most part was a loving mom. On the other hand, past the guilt twinge, there is a "warning do not enter" sign flashing in my head. I am in self protect mode. I saw no signs of remorse or change, kind of a flat affect throughout my husbands life celebration. I think I will sit with the idea a bit before doing anything. There is a small battle waging in my heart.......and a burning in my stomach. Any of your ideas and advice will be most appreciated. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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