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What does detachment look like to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 617896" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>An amazing story. How do we do it, I wonder. I believe we do need to give ourselves credit for surviving the living horror of what is happening to our kids, to our changed relationships with extended family as the hope our own parents believed in when our kids were little changes to puzzlement or condemnation or pain. What it does to us to accept what is happening at all, to accept what it is doing to our relationships, as we struggle with and against one another to try to find a place of balance in the face of a kind of devastation most parents never know.</p><p></p><p>Our children are older than yours...we have grandchildren. That adds another layer that cuts to the core of who we are, that changes who we thought we would be, what we thought our lives would be like, as we aged.</p><p></p><p>We live in a strange kind of nether world where nothing is clear, where the sacrifices made effect no change, where the harder we try the further behind we seem to be.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure which thread it was now, but one of us posted about her child picking up once she detached from her own emotional reactions to what he was doing and so, was able to stop helping/enabling.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was homeless too, for a time. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 617896, member: 17461"] An amazing story. How do we do it, I wonder. I believe we do need to give ourselves credit for surviving the living horror of what is happening to our kids, to our changed relationships with extended family as the hope our own parents believed in when our kids were little changes to puzzlement or condemnation or pain. What it does to us to accept what is happening at all, to accept what it is doing to our relationships, as we struggle with and against one another to try to find a place of balance in the face of a kind of devastation most parents never know. Our children are older than yours...we have grandchildren. That adds another layer that cuts to the core of who we are, that changes who we thought we would be, what we thought our lives would be like, as we aged. We live in a strange kind of nether world where nothing is clear, where the sacrifices made effect no change, where the harder we try the further behind we seem to be. I am not sure which thread it was now, but one of us posted about her child picking up once she detached from her own emotional reactions to what he was doing and so, was able to stop helping/enabling. My daughter was homeless too, for a time. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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What does detachment look like to you?
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