I agree with Shari. Unless your difficult child wants help, there is absolutely nothing you can do. I have many of the same fears you do concerning difficult child 1. Like your difficult child, difficult child 1 knows everything, is the king of the universe, and the rest of us are, well, let's just say unbelievably stupid, lol.
I'm especially afraid of what will happen if difficult child 1 doesn't take his medications. Like you, I can picture difficult child 1 in jail. Without his medications, he is totally, 100% out of control!!! This thought worries me daily... And, difficult child 1 is about a year younger than your difficult child.
difficult child 1 is going to have to move out of our house too. I've had enough of his garbage to last me a lifetime. I want to feel safe in my own home. I'm tired of having to make sure I take my purse with me when I go to bed. Ok, I better STOP!!! This is your post - not mine!!!
Anyway, we're making difficult child 1 take driver's ed now. Even though I was fully against it at first, husband made me realize that it is better difficult child 1 get some training and experience before he leaves home next year. Also, I guess we're lucky in the sense that difficult child 1 is really smart when it comes to computers and our local high school and community college are paying for him to take some courses at the community college. However, the agreement is that difficult child 1 finish his associates degree there. We're praying he does, but realistically I'm not sure this will happen. difficult child 1 is so immature!!! I think he'll be even worse when he's finally on his own.
In a nutshell, if difficult child 1 continues to take these classes, he'll be able to repair computers when he graduates high school. He could get a job doing this during the day and go to community college during the evenings. We'll give him first and last month's rent, his bedroom furniture, some old furniture of ours, etc. and help him get set up in his first apartment. The rest will be up to him.
difficult child 1 can have a bright future if he wants it. However, I WILL NOT let him live in our home once he is 18 with his current level of verbal abuse, horrible attitude, and feelings of entitlement, just to name a few. I'll always love him but I'm more than ready to have him leave my home.
If he wants help, husband and I are more than willing to help him, BUT, he still needs to MOVE OUT!!!
The only thing I can say is that if your difficult child has a talent in one area, push him to learn everything he can about his special talent. It might be the ticket to a job down the road.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I used to think things would get easier when my difficult children got older. I'm glad I didn't know about all the worry, stress, and sadness that is still ahead...
Sorry I can't be more helpful. WFEN
