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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="ruppertk" data-source="post: 622439" data-attributes="member: 17770"><p>Thank you guys for reading my posts and sharing with me in return. What is difficult child?</p><p>I think anger from different angles keeps me strong in this scenario with my daughter, I am angry at my past actions, angry at her entitlement, angry at her father who promotes this. So in this case anger is is my friend in a sense. Yes I was an extreme enabler codependent people pleaser and had no clue, everytime I felt sad Id become righteous like I was better than them both because I was so selfless. I take full part in this creation and I am sorry for it, although I do wish that I could be more grateful for the awareness than sorry and I hope that that balance changes. My price has been very high as I am quite lonely in this, the divorce and his remarriage was a complete embarrassment, he was my closest friend and my husband and I never thought in a million years that in the end he wouldn't do the right thing. as these layers peel away I am more embarrassed of myself for who I chose to be in my life and stayed in for way past the point to promote him to abuse me(not physically just the things I was willing to do trying to save us all) and my dedication and the abuse of my own self as my oldest daughter was our observer. ( actually that entire sentence means I was my own abuser enabling him to do unto me)For the last year I worried about my daughter announcing marriage I thought to myself what the hell, you just saw alllll this go on, you haven't even come close to finishing any schooling and to boot this princess of mine hasn't the maturity level for this commitment AND having a wedding doesn't help heal from your parents divorce. Of course I wanted to say all that but I didn't, it took a year of sitting on my lips and I soon realized my girl is on her own journey now weather its in spite of me or result of things her father and I did, either way, its hers and her price to pay or her benefit to reap from.</p><p>It hurts really bad to know the lady that married my ex in the same month of our divorce helped my daughter pick out her wedding dress. Odd thing is I didn't cry or react to that action I was already sad I guess, in the past year she has called the police on me when I yelled at her for treating me badly, she has taken anything I say to her father to let him know of my life as he may be able to use it to gain custody of our youngest, Yah I think I am just sad so I cant react further, grown numb.</p><p>Add on top of it this new lady has some nerve forcing my youngest to learn to say yes mam or no mam to her, forcing respect to the woman who participates in the destruction of her little life leaving me to explain why its okay to say "mam" to her. I could go on and on, I will say I am grateful that she hasn't hit or been overtly mean to her although this woman and my ex sat my child down and her own 3 children and told them all that they were 2nd compared to him and his new wife and my youngest went to school and wrote a report on how thankful she was to be second ughhh..</p><p>I end with this, When I was growing up my mother told me, "I hope that when you have children of your own their twice as bad as you have been" I will not continue that famous saying it ends here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ruppertk, post: 622439, member: 17770"] Thank you guys for reading my posts and sharing with me in return. What is difficult child? I think anger from different angles keeps me strong in this scenario with my daughter, I am angry at my past actions, angry at her entitlement, angry at her father who promotes this. So in this case anger is is my friend in a sense. Yes I was an extreme enabler codependent people pleaser and had no clue, everytime I felt sad Id become righteous like I was better than them both because I was so selfless. I take full part in this creation and I am sorry for it, although I do wish that I could be more grateful for the awareness than sorry and I hope that that balance changes. My price has been very high as I am quite lonely in this, the divorce and his remarriage was a complete embarrassment, he was my closest friend and my husband and I never thought in a million years that in the end he wouldn't do the right thing. as these layers peel away I am more embarrassed of myself for who I chose to be in my life and stayed in for way past the point to promote him to abuse me(not physically just the things I was willing to do trying to save us all) and my dedication and the abuse of my own self as my oldest daughter was our observer. ( actually that entire sentence means I was my own abuser enabling him to do unto me)For the last year I worried about my daughter announcing marriage I thought to myself what the hell, you just saw alllll this go on, you haven't even come close to finishing any schooling and to boot this princess of mine hasn't the maturity level for this commitment AND having a wedding doesn't help heal from your parents divorce. Of course I wanted to say all that but I didn't, it took a year of sitting on my lips and I soon realized my girl is on her own journey now weather its in spite of me or result of things her father and I did, either way, its hers and her price to pay or her benefit to reap from. It hurts really bad to know the lady that married my ex in the same month of our divorce helped my daughter pick out her wedding dress. Odd thing is I didn't cry or react to that action I was already sad I guess, in the past year she has called the police on me when I yelled at her for treating me badly, she has taken anything I say to her father to let him know of my life as he may be able to use it to gain custody of our youngest, Yah I think I am just sad so I cant react further, grown numb. Add on top of it this new lady has some nerve forcing my youngest to learn to say yes mam or no mam to her, forcing respect to the woman who participates in the destruction of her little life leaving me to explain why its okay to say "mam" to her. I could go on and on, I will say I am grateful that she hasn't hit or been overtly mean to her although this woman and my ex sat my child down and her own 3 children and told them all that they were 2nd compared to him and his new wife and my youngest went to school and wrote a report on how thankful she was to be second ughhh.. I end with this, When I was growing up my mother told me, "I hope that when you have children of your own their twice as bad as you have been" I will not continue that famous saying it ends here. [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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