Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622473" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I love this.</p><p></p><p>I need to do this. Become a me I can trust to look out for myself, I mean.</p><p></p><p>I am learning to do this, I think.</p><p></p><p>You have been through unbelievable betrayal. No one could have seen that coming. If my husband did that to me, betrayed me over time, again and again, I wouldn't know what to do, what to think or how to handle it, either.</p><p></p><p>I would feel globally condemned. </p><p></p><p>You've made it through the first six months. That is something. It sounds like you are feeling a little stronger ~ sort of lifting your head and having a look at the new landscape. Next steps will be about marshaling your forces to stand up again. </p><p></p><p>Everything will look different from that changed perspective. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry that kind of betrayal happened, and keeps happening, to you. Betrayal says less about the person betrayed than it does about the ethics of the betrayer. I don't know what you meant when you posted about self-esteem issues from actions taken to preserve your marriage...but I do know that there are times when we require ourselves to do our best, our utmost, for the sakes of our marriages.</p><p></p><p>We <u>promised</u>. </p><p></p><p>What the other person does with our sacrifice is about who they are. It has nothing, nothing at all, to do with us, with who we are.</p><p></p><p>A person who will belittle and betray the person they married is not a nice person. It seems to me that you have borne the brunt of issues that most likely have nothing to do with you. Something about sitting the kids down and telling them they come second to the relationship between the husband and the wife doesn't quite sit well with me.... </p><p></p><p>Though I know it doesn't feel like it right now, there may come a time when you will know this break up of your marriage was a healthy thing.</p><p></p><p>The nature of the break up, the continued </p><p>harassment of you and of your mothering, the attempts to avoid all responsibility for the part he played in his own marriage....</p><p></p><p>Perhaps your husband betrays himself, deludes himself, creates a hero of himself (and a villain of his partner) whether we are talking first marriage, second marriage, job, or business partnership.</p><p></p><p>When people do decent things, it is usually because they are decent people. They do not behave decently in their marriages or primary relationships because their partners are decent ~ they behave decently because they are decent. Same thing with people who do not behave with decency. Your ex-husband's betrayal, his immediate re-marriage (red flag right there) and his actions toward their mutual children....</p><p></p><p>He seems kind of slimy, to me.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622473, member: 17461"] I love this. I need to do this. Become a me I can trust to look out for myself, I mean. I am learning to do this, I think. You have been through unbelievable betrayal. No one could have seen that coming. If my husband did that to me, betrayed me over time, again and again, I wouldn't know what to do, what to think or how to handle it, either. I would feel globally condemned. You've made it through the first six months. That is something. It sounds like you are feeling a little stronger ~ sort of lifting your head and having a look at the new landscape. Next steps will be about marshaling your forces to stand up again. Everything will look different from that changed perspective. I'm so sorry that kind of betrayal happened, and keeps happening, to you. Betrayal says less about the person betrayed than it does about the ethics of the betrayer. I don't know what you meant when you posted about self-esteem issues from actions taken to preserve your marriage...but I do know that there are times when we require ourselves to do our best, our utmost, for the sakes of our marriages. We [U]promised[/U]. What the other person does with our sacrifice is about who they are. It has nothing, nothing at all, to do with us, with who we are. A person who will belittle and betray the person they married is not a nice person. It seems to me that you have borne the brunt of issues that most likely have nothing to do with you. Something about sitting the kids down and telling them they come second to the relationship between the husband and the wife doesn't quite sit well with me.... Though I know it doesn't feel like it right now, there may come a time when you will know this break up of your marriage was a healthy thing. The nature of the break up, the continued harassment of you and of your mothering, the attempts to avoid all responsibility for the part he played in his own marriage.... Perhaps your husband betrays himself, deludes himself, creates a hero of himself (and a villain of his partner) whether we are talking first marriage, second marriage, job, or business partnership. When people do decent things, it is usually because they are decent people. They do not behave decently in their marriages or primary relationships because their partners are decent ~ they behave decently because they are decent. Same thing with people who do not behave with decency. Your ex-husband's betrayal, his immediate re-marriage (red flag right there) and his actions toward their mutual children.... He seems kind of slimy, to me. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
Top