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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lioness" data-source="post: 650177" data-attributes="member: 18827"><p>Thanks so much for all your advice. You give me strength, as I am feeling so powerless at the moment. Knowing that she is up the road laughing without a care in the world upsets me. Knowing that my 18 month old grand daughter is there and I cant see her is devastating. When I see my step daugher I am not going to ask how her lunch went, as this is what my daughter wants. I refuse to play these sadistic toxic games. I have decided to go out to the cinema and next week will start looking for some sort of counselling to help me deal with this situation better. I need some insight into what I can do and should do to overcome the pain. And indeed get on with my life. Its my Birthday next week, last year we all went out for my birthday and it was wonderful, however this year I don't feel like celebrating with my fake family. ,My daughter gave me a lovely canvas with my granddaughters hand prints, together with an extravagant gift that I know her wealthy husband paid for. She usually writes lovely cards stating how much she appreciates and loves me. However actions speak louder than words and whenever things are not right in her life she always attacks me. I just want to see my friends who always ring and ask after me practically every day. All I need and want from my children is love and respect. I don't want massive gestures. My mum was incredibly abusive to me as a child, but I never hated her or villified her and knew that she was mentally ill. She has since been sectioned at aged 70 unfortunately too little too late. All my life I tried to be a good mother, and be the opposite to my own mother. I would listen, discuss, support and try to be understanding giving unconditional love. I have in fact become a door mat. They know I am always there for them and take this for granted. I wish I had a mum or even a Dad, but I have neither. I had a wonderful Grandmother who bought me up till I was 7 years of age, who gave me loads of love and affection. I never had a kind word of love or affection from my mum because she was unwell. I understand that. My children have been very lucky, that I was the way I was. Their father is distant and absent and always has been. When my son was unhappy and owed a lot of money, my ex husband rang me to say that he was concerned about him, and could I deal with it as he would be un contactable for the next 3 weeks as he was going on holiday. My son was in a desperate situation, but this was typical of my ex. Since he left us some 16 years ago he has been unavailable emotionally to the children, and I feel this has had a very damaging effect. I know I am rambling on and I need help. Next week I will try and find a counsellor that I can afford. I thank the Lord for your kind advice, and words. i have a lovely husband and good friends. My work saves me as I work with pre schoolers who are adorable. They do not however fill the void that I have where my grand daughter should be. Thank you so much.x</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lioness, post: 650177, member: 18827"] Thanks so much for all your advice. You give me strength, as I am feeling so powerless at the moment. Knowing that she is up the road laughing without a care in the world upsets me. Knowing that my 18 month old grand daughter is there and I cant see her is devastating. When I see my step daugher I am not going to ask how her lunch went, as this is what my daughter wants. I refuse to play these sadistic toxic games. I have decided to go out to the cinema and next week will start looking for some sort of counselling to help me deal with this situation better. I need some insight into what I can do and should do to overcome the pain. And indeed get on with my life. Its my Birthday next week, last year we all went out for my birthday and it was wonderful, however this year I don't feel like celebrating with my fake family. ,My daughter gave me a lovely canvas with my granddaughters hand prints, together with an extravagant gift that I know her wealthy husband paid for. She usually writes lovely cards stating how much she appreciates and loves me. However actions speak louder than words and whenever things are not right in her life she always attacks me. I just want to see my friends who always ring and ask after me practically every day. All I need and want from my children is love and respect. I don't want massive gestures. My mum was incredibly abusive to me as a child, but I never hated her or villified her and knew that she was mentally ill. She has since been sectioned at aged 70 unfortunately too little too late. All my life I tried to be a good mother, and be the opposite to my own mother. I would listen, discuss, support and try to be understanding giving unconditional love. I have in fact become a door mat. They know I am always there for them and take this for granted. I wish I had a mum or even a Dad, but I have neither. I had a wonderful Grandmother who bought me up till I was 7 years of age, who gave me loads of love and affection. I never had a kind word of love or affection from my mum because she was unwell. I understand that. My children have been very lucky, that I was the way I was. Their father is distant and absent and always has been. When my son was unhappy and owed a lot of money, my ex husband rang me to say that he was concerned about him, and could I deal with it as he would be un contactable for the next 3 weeks as he was going on holiday. My son was in a desperate situation, but this was typical of my ex. Since he left us some 16 years ago he has been unavailable emotionally to the children, and I feel this has had a very damaging effect. I know I am rambling on and I need help. Next week I will try and find a counsellor that I can afford. I thank the Lord for your kind advice, and words. i have a lovely husband and good friends. My work saves me as I work with pre schoolers who are adorable. They do not however fill the void that I have where my grand daughter should be. Thank you so much.x [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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