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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 650417" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Here is something about causes from The National Institute of Mental Health: <a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml#part2" target="_blank">http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml#part2</a></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>Causes</strong></span></p><p>"Research on the possible causes and risk factors for Borderline (BPD) is still at a very early stage. However, scientists generally agree that genetic and environmental factors are likely to be involved.</p><p>Studies on twins with Borderline (BPD) suggest that the illness is strongly inherited. Another study shows that a person can inherit his or her temperament and specific personality traits, particularly impulsiveness and aggression. Scientists are studying genes that help regulate emotions and impulse control for possible links to the disorder.</p><p>Social or cultural factors may increase the risk for Borderline (BPD). For example, being part of a community or culture in which unstable family relationships are common may increase a person's risk for the disorder. Impulsiveness, poor judgment in lifestyle choices, and other consequences of Borderline (BPD) may lead individuals to risky situations. Adults with borderline personality disorder are considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes." </p><p></p><p>Again, for you, now that your child is an adult, you have to do what is best for you. You said for a time you were at no contact. Here, on the board I learned about a concept called low contact - where you have contact only when it is the right thing for you to do and the other person is acting in a respectful way. Either way, you have to get to a point of acceptance. Have you read the article on this board about detachment? </p><p></p><p>Maybe, because I have a therapist I like, I agree that therapy for you is a good idea. I think it is really important that you find someone you feel comfortable with because the last thing you need is someone who is going to add to you feelings of inadequacies, for a problem that is not yours.</p><p>Also there is NAMI where there are free support groups for family members of those with mental illness: <a href="http://www.NAMI.org" target="_blank">www.NAMI.org</a> to find your local chapter.</p><p></p><p>I know it sounds illogical that you are the one who has to go for therapy, but in truth it really helps you to come to acceptance that your daughter is mentally ill/personality disordered and how to live a life protecting yourself from the damage that she can do both to your own mental health and the disruptions in your life.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how to say it more clearly: How she turned out is NOT YOUR FAULT!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 650417, member: 18366"] Here is something about causes from The National Institute of Mental Health: [URL]http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml#part2[/URL] [SIZE=5][B]Causes[/B][/SIZE] "Research on the possible causes and risk factors for Borderline (BPD) is still at a very early stage. However, scientists generally agree that genetic and environmental factors are likely to be involved. Studies on twins with Borderline (BPD) suggest that the illness is strongly inherited. Another study shows that a person can inherit his or her temperament and specific personality traits, particularly impulsiveness and aggression. Scientists are studying genes that help regulate emotions and impulse control for possible links to the disorder. Social or cultural factors may increase the risk for Borderline (BPD). For example, being part of a community or culture in which unstable family relationships are common may increase a person's risk for the disorder. Impulsiveness, poor judgment in lifestyle choices, and other consequences of Borderline (BPD) may lead individuals to risky situations. Adults with borderline personality disorder are considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes." Again, for you, now that your child is an adult, you have to do what is best for you. You said for a time you were at no contact. Here, on the board I learned about a concept called low contact - where you have contact only when it is the right thing for you to do and the other person is acting in a respectful way. Either way, you have to get to a point of acceptance. Have you read the article on this board about detachment? Maybe, because I have a therapist I like, I agree that therapy for you is a good idea. I think it is really important that you find someone you feel comfortable with because the last thing you need is someone who is going to add to you feelings of inadequacies, for a problem that is not yours. Also there is NAMI where there are free support groups for family members of those with mental illness: [URL="http://www.NAMI.org"]www.NAMI.org[/URL] to find your local chapter. I know it sounds illogical that you are the one who has to go for therapy, but in truth it really helps you to come to acceptance that your daughter is mentally ill/personality disordered and how to live a life protecting yourself from the damage that she can do both to your own mental health and the disruptions in your life. I don't know how to say it more clearly: How she turned out is NOT YOUR FAULT! [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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