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<blockquote data-quote="Tired out" data-source="post: 745062" data-attributes="member: 23103"><p>He hasn't said anything derogatory about his dad since the Dad said no about adding dog and girlfriend to the mix. Then it was Dad was mean to him and he doesn't want to see him. I shut him down. told him he was delusional. and asked him "where do you think the money is coming from for your 1st and last months rent and security deposit?" Be didn't have any savings for that. He asked if we would help him (yes after he stole, he had come back and apologized, admitted he was smoking pot and said he was really sorry and tried to get the items back but the sales guy he sold them to had already sold them. I called the guy (one of those tool guys that sells tools and other stuff out of a big truck, goes to factories and garages etc) he did know Ben and verified what he had told me. I asked if he would tell me how much he paid him for the items and it was 1/4 what they were worth. Dumb butt..they will take anything when they want there pot. </p><p>Yes we helped them. For us it was much better than having him here and I needed the peace of mind to know he was safe and had a place to sleep. I know some people would say "tough, let him sleep under a bridge" that just is not me. I don't want a stray cat sleeping in the elements. It makes me so sad. If I didn't have to lock up my house and have everything secured and go through an act of congress we would be foster parents. I hate that so many kids are hung out to dry and are in bad situations. But having Adam I just can't have anyone unstable in my home. Adam comes 1st. period. </p><p>Before we committed to the funds I spoke to a family friend who knows the history and is a very well respected psychologist. She said that if we could afford to do it without hardship to us to just give the dollars directly to the apartment management, not to give Ben a check, make the payment directly. Tell the kids it is not a loan, it is to get them started and to make the most of of the help. She said it was best in this type of situation to not have them feel they had a loan to repay. Just give them a start. We were good with her suggestion. We did not cosign for the apartment. They have a lease in both of their names. </p><p> They have kept up with everything on their own since then. it gives him a darn good reason to stay employed! I just pray it stays that way. </p><p>I don't think there is any perfect answer for any of our situations. We just have to do what is best for us individually and what lets us sleep at night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired out, post: 745062, member: 23103"] He hasn't said anything derogatory about his dad since the Dad said no about adding dog and girlfriend to the mix. Then it was Dad was mean to him and he doesn't want to see him. I shut him down. told him he was delusional. and asked him "where do you think the money is coming from for your 1st and last months rent and security deposit?" Be didn't have any savings for that. He asked if we would help him (yes after he stole, he had come back and apologized, admitted he was smoking pot and said he was really sorry and tried to get the items back but the sales guy he sold them to had already sold them. I called the guy (one of those tool guys that sells tools and other stuff out of a big truck, goes to factories and garages etc) he did know Ben and verified what he had told me. I asked if he would tell me how much he paid him for the items and it was 1/4 what they were worth. Dumb butt..they will take anything when they want there pot. Yes we helped them. For us it was much better than having him here and I needed the peace of mind to know he was safe and had a place to sleep. I know some people would say "tough, let him sleep under a bridge" that just is not me. I don't want a stray cat sleeping in the elements. It makes me so sad. If I didn't have to lock up my house and have everything secured and go through an act of congress we would be foster parents. I hate that so many kids are hung out to dry and are in bad situations. But having Adam I just can't have anyone unstable in my home. Adam comes 1st. period. Before we committed to the funds I spoke to a family friend who knows the history and is a very well respected psychologist. She said that if we could afford to do it without hardship to us to just give the dollars directly to the apartment management, not to give Ben a check, make the payment directly. Tell the kids it is not a loan, it is to get them started and to make the most of of the help. She said it was best in this type of situation to not have them feel they had a loan to repay. Just give them a start. We were good with her suggestion. We did not cosign for the apartment. They have a lease in both of their names. They have kept up with everything on their own since then. it gives him a darn good reason to stay employed! I just pray it stays that way. I don't think there is any perfect answer for any of our situations. We just have to do what is best for us individually and what lets us sleep at night. [/QUOTE]
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