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Family of Origin
What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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<blockquote data-quote="Wish" data-source="post: 737541" data-attributes="member: 23140"><p>These are questions that have plauged me my entire life and questions that I have asked him and flat out told him. He flat out refuses to hear it or address it. Absolutely refuses. He wants me to go to these things regardless of how I feel and yes, it kills me not knowing why he wants me to go. I think it's because of a pride thing. I think he knows how they treat me and my daughter and he want's to show the other family members that we matter and we are just as much as part of the extended family as anyone else and it is a very noble thing if that's the case but he doesn't do anything else to try and fix it which is what devestates me. So let's say I am getting pressured by my grandfather to go to Christmas dinner at my extended family home, I say no I am not going and then he gets upset. It's the usual routine and then I say "Pop, why would I go when everyone ignores me and daughter. So I can look at the walls while everyone else is being social and having a great time? And the only time they do talk to me is to cut me down in some way?" His response "You are being ridiculous Lisa!!!!! Absolutely crazy!!!! You don't want to go , fine!!!! I don't give a bleep!" and then storms off or hangs up the phone whichever way we are having the covnersation at the time. He never just sits and talks with me about it. He doesn't want to acknowledge whats going on and that's fine, I have NEVER forced him to or even asked them to. Nothing. I never asked them to choose sides but if I did, I would have gotten a big F U. But you would THINK that if he wants me to go so badly that he would at least have a discussion with the OTHER side of the family but I really don't want him to do that anyway, I just wanted to be left alone about it. But I felt if he was going to give me hell for it, why not give them hell TOO? Why did I always get the pressure put onto me????? However, I think the reason why he doesn't say anything to the others is because my grandmother would ream him a new one. <strong><em><u>She absolultely despises anything like that</u></em></strong>. My grandparents are<em><strong><u> very </u></strong></em>dysfunctional themselves. It all started with them. My grandfather was/is the true Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde. Very angry. Very emtoinally abusive but also very loving and would do anything for his kids. You just didn't know what day what personality you were gonna catch. It's just like an onion. Numerous layers to this family of mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wish, post: 737541, member: 23140"] These are questions that have plauged me my entire life and questions that I have asked him and flat out told him. He flat out refuses to hear it or address it. Absolutely refuses. He wants me to go to these things regardless of how I feel and yes, it kills me not knowing why he wants me to go. I think it's because of a pride thing. I think he knows how they treat me and my daughter and he want's to show the other family members that we matter and we are just as much as part of the extended family as anyone else and it is a very noble thing if that's the case but he doesn't do anything else to try and fix it which is what devestates me. So let's say I am getting pressured by my grandfather to go to Christmas dinner at my extended family home, I say no I am not going and then he gets upset. It's the usual routine and then I say "Pop, why would I go when everyone ignores me and daughter. So I can look at the walls while everyone else is being social and having a great time? And the only time they do talk to me is to cut me down in some way?" His response "You are being ridiculous Lisa!!!!! Absolutely crazy!!!! You don't want to go , fine!!!! I don't give a bleep!" and then storms off or hangs up the phone whichever way we are having the covnersation at the time. He never just sits and talks with me about it. He doesn't want to acknowledge whats going on and that's fine, I have NEVER forced him to or even asked them to. Nothing. I never asked them to choose sides but if I did, I would have gotten a big F U. But you would THINK that if he wants me to go so badly that he would at least have a discussion with the OTHER side of the family but I really don't want him to do that anyway, I just wanted to be left alone about it. But I felt if he was going to give me hell for it, why not give them hell TOO? Why did I always get the pressure put onto me????? However, I think the reason why he doesn't say anything to the others is because my grandmother would ream him a new one. [B][I][U]She absolultely despises anything like that[/U][/I][/B]. My grandparents are[I][B][U] very [/U][/B][/I]dysfunctional themselves. It all started with them. My grandfather was/is the true Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde. Very angry. Very emtoinally abusive but also very loving and would do anything for his kids. You just didn't know what day what personality you were gonna catch. It's just like an onion. Numerous layers to this family of mine. [/QUOTE]
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What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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