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Family of Origin
What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 738045" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Funny you mention this. My FOO has a lot of dysfunction due to events which occurred in the generation before mine. Long story short this drama exploded when I was in my teens, and resulted in complete and total estrangement between my mother and her siblings (the parents of my cousins) when I was in high school. The cousins themselves weren't really involved, but it was a situation where everybody basically chose a side. Not only out of loyalty but also because of my personal feelings regarding the situation, I sided with my mother. And as could be expected my eldest cousin sided with their mother, my aunt, who was the ringleader of all the toxicity and whom my mother hates with a passion. My second eldest cousin, with whom I was extremely close as a tween, stayed in touch with "our" side of the family and remained essentially neutral. But even so, though I saw this cousin infrequently as we grew older, we drifted apart. At this point I haven't spoken to the 'neutral/good' cousin in probably 10 years or so.</p><p></p><p>At times I grow curious about these estranged family members and use social media to spy on them. By doing so recently I learned that estranged aunt is in a nursing home and not doing well. I told my mother who seemed slightly upset/taken aback by the news. I sent my mom some FB photos of aunt who has deteriorated significantly since her prime years, but the woman is now in her 90s so that is to be expected. </p><p></p><p>The FB page in question belongs to eldest cousin's spouse. My 'neutral' cousin, who is the only one I'd reach out to, doesn't seem to be on social media anymore. I cannot find any evidence of what they are doing now. I do know life has not been kind to them, which is a shame because this cousin is a good person, and the only person on this particular side of the family I'd want to reconnect with as my own family is small.</p><p></p><p>My mother doesn't intend to visit aunt. I asked mother if she would be upset if aunt died without any further words between them and my mother said no. I have no desire to visit aunt.</p><p></p><p>If I do manage to find neutral cousin I will post an update.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 738045, member: 13303"] Funny you mention this. My FOO has a lot of dysfunction due to events which occurred in the generation before mine. Long story short this drama exploded when I was in my teens, and resulted in complete and total estrangement between my mother and her siblings (the parents of my cousins) when I was in high school. The cousins themselves weren't really involved, but it was a situation where everybody basically chose a side. Not only out of loyalty but also because of my personal feelings regarding the situation, I sided with my mother. And as could be expected my eldest cousin sided with their mother, my aunt, who was the ringleader of all the toxicity and whom my mother hates with a passion. My second eldest cousin, with whom I was extremely close as a tween, stayed in touch with "our" side of the family and remained essentially neutral. But even so, though I saw this cousin infrequently as we grew older, we drifted apart. At this point I haven't spoken to the 'neutral/good' cousin in probably 10 years or so. At times I grow curious about these estranged family members and use social media to spy on them. By doing so recently I learned that estranged aunt is in a nursing home and not doing well. I told my mother who seemed slightly upset/taken aback by the news. I sent my mom some FB photos of aunt who has deteriorated significantly since her prime years, but the woman is now in her 90s so that is to be expected. The FB page in question belongs to eldest cousin's spouse. My 'neutral' cousin, who is the only one I'd reach out to, doesn't seem to be on social media anymore. I cannot find any evidence of what they are doing now. I do know life has not been kind to them, which is a shame because this cousin is a good person, and the only person on this particular side of the family I'd want to reconnect with as my own family is small. My mother doesn't intend to visit aunt. I asked mother if she would be upset if aunt died without any further words between them and my mother said no. I have no desire to visit aunt. If I do manage to find neutral cousin I will post an update. [/QUOTE]
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What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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