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What it looks like when we circle the wagons. For Recovering and pasajes4, this time. :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 621339" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I have been too "nice" in my life, Recovering. It tears me apart to see, to really see, the way my son sees me. He sent his sister an email. Looking for allies. He is behaving every bit as badly, is following that same toxic abuser's path, as Seeking's gfg32, MWM's 36, BITS' father and son.</p><p></p><p>I feel cheap, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>I feel so cheapened, so cheap, so foolish...disillusionment is such an empty place to be. I know I will come away stronger. I understand that "cheap" is an indication of growth and of compassion for myself. I feel the anger beneath it, understand the anger is what will blow the covering illusion away.</p><p></p><p>Tears at the edges of things.</p><p></p><p>Raging, inside. I know what I knew all along. I just believed so unshakably that holding strong, that believing for the best, worked. It doesn't. My son is a grown man. He has been grown up for a long time. He is mean like a snake, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>Believing for the best is an illusion. A comforting illusion, to believe in a future better than the now.</p><p></p><p>It is true. All we ever have is the now.</p><p></p><p>It's a difficult thing to stand up, here.</p><p></p><p>It requires six guns blasting and tobacco-juice spitting.</p><p></p><p>Though I agree that a spittoon would be appropriate at this point.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>After I get through this part, let's go thundering down the beach on white stallions. </p><p></p><p>Barefoot, no saddles, no reigns.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 621339, member: 17461"] I have been too "nice" in my life, Recovering. It tears me apart to see, to really see, the way my son sees me. He sent his sister an email. Looking for allies. He is behaving every bit as badly, is following that same toxic abuser's path, as Seeking's gfg32, MWM's 36, BITS' father and son. I feel cheap, Recovering. I feel so cheapened, so cheap, so foolish...disillusionment is such an empty place to be. I know I will come away stronger. I understand that "cheap" is an indication of growth and of compassion for myself. I feel the anger beneath it, understand the anger is what will blow the covering illusion away. Tears at the edges of things. Raging, inside. I know what I knew all along. I just believed so unshakably that holding strong, that believing for the best, worked. It doesn't. My son is a grown man. He has been grown up for a long time. He is mean like a snake, Recovering. Believing for the best is an illusion. A comforting illusion, to believe in a future better than the now. It is true. All we ever have is the now. It's a difficult thing to stand up, here. It requires six guns blasting and tobacco-juice spitting. Though I agree that a spittoon would be appropriate at this point. :O) Cedar After I get through this part, let's go thundering down the beach on white stallions. Barefoot, no saddles, no reigns. [/QUOTE]
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What it looks like when we circle the wagons. For Recovering and pasajes4, this time. :O)
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