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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 457545"><p>I read your post and I have no answer. But I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and I wish you the best. I am very new to this with my own 19 yo and we when we said that we could not support his return to college when we know he is smoking weed - he left. Went back on his own, and g-d only knows how he plans to support himself and pay his tuition. And now I am here desperately feeling like I need to DO SOMETHING to when there is nothing I can do. And then I cry.</p><p></p><p>Had I known how it was going to end - I would have had a backup plan or I would have bided my time until we did. We did call his counselor when we found out he had purchased drug paraphernalia online and the counselor was in agreement that we should not let him go back to school knowing his plans to smoke (and distribute?) pot. I don't think it ever dawned on us that he would go back to school anyway. And now he is 400 miles away and I am totally unglued. The lines of communication have been cut. Not only is my kid making horrible choices, he is doing it far away, I have no way of knowing what's going on and soon he will be desperate for money. I think we went from the frying pan to the fire.</p><p></p><p>You mentioned that your daughter had been in treatment before. Can you call her counselor and get some advice? Since she is not a troublemaker while at home, can you let her sleep it off and try to deal with her when she is lucid? Maybe her counselor or the rehab place can suggest tips for getting her to comply with getting help? I know I am probably not giving you good advice ... I think you are well within your rights to say she can't live with you while using drugs...but i think you need to have a plan on what you will do if she leaves. </p><p></p><p>So maybe, you should wait and explore all of your options - talk to someone who specializes in intervention and get your ducks in a row. Explore all of your options. Have an A B and C plan. Learn from my mistake, be proactive instead of reactive.</p><p></p><p>(edited to add) And I am so sorry and I send you lots of hugs. You sound like a wonderful mother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 457545"] I read your post and I have no answer. But I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and I wish you the best. I am very new to this with my own 19 yo and we when we said that we could not support his return to college when we know he is smoking weed - he left. Went back on his own, and g-d only knows how he plans to support himself and pay his tuition. And now I am here desperately feeling like I need to DO SOMETHING to when there is nothing I can do. And then I cry. Had I known how it was going to end - I would have had a backup plan or I would have bided my time until we did. We did call his counselor when we found out he had purchased drug paraphernalia online and the counselor was in agreement that we should not let him go back to school knowing his plans to smoke (and distribute?) pot. I don't think it ever dawned on us that he would go back to school anyway. And now he is 400 miles away and I am totally unglued. The lines of communication have been cut. Not only is my kid making horrible choices, he is doing it far away, I have no way of knowing what's going on and soon he will be desperate for money. I think we went from the frying pan to the fire. You mentioned that your daughter had been in treatment before. Can you call her counselor and get some advice? Since she is not a troublemaker while at home, can you let her sleep it off and try to deal with her when she is lucid? Maybe her counselor or the rehab place can suggest tips for getting her to comply with getting help? I know I am probably not giving you good advice ... I think you are well within your rights to say she can't live with you while using drugs...but i think you need to have a plan on what you will do if she leaves. So maybe, you should wait and explore all of your options - talk to someone who specializes in intervention and get your ducks in a row. Explore all of your options. Have an A B and C plan. Learn from my mistake, be proactive instead of reactive. (edited to add) And I am so sorry and I send you lots of hugs. You sound like a wonderful mother. [/QUOTE]
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