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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756867" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Your standard is: compromise necessitates communication. That's your standard. See? Already there is the expectation, the imposition of your rule, your standard, as you see it. She is not you. She does not have to buy in. She doubt she will.</p><p></p><p>This is reminding me of the occasion when she would not leave a note about when she'd be home. You insisted this was the correct and decent thing to do. It <em>is</em> the correct and decent thing to do. But what if her needs are different. She is forced then, to be wrong, according to your rules. This is how she feels.</p><p></p><p>Can you conceive of compromise as something in you, that does not require her to submit to you? That is how she feels it.</p><p></p><p>Can you imagine the two of you on the same page, as your interest and hers as the same?</p><p></p><p>This is not about your loss. You have made no mistakes. This is not about you being bad. This is not about a win/lose. You have not failed at anything. You are succeeding. </p><p></p><p>You are both in this together. Her win is yours. Your win is hers.</p><p></p><p>No other mother would find this easy.</p><p></p><p>I'll back off. I must have mis-perceived the situation. I am sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756867, member: 18958"] Your standard is: compromise necessitates communication. That's your standard. See? Already there is the expectation, the imposition of your rule, your standard, as you see it. She is not you. She does not have to buy in. She doubt she will. This is reminding me of the occasion when she would not leave a note about when she'd be home. You insisted this was the correct and decent thing to do. It [I]is[/I] the correct and decent thing to do. But what if her needs are different. She is forced then, to be wrong, according to your rules. This is how she feels. Can you conceive of compromise as something in you, that does not require her to submit to you? That is how she feels it. Can you imagine the two of you on the same page, as your interest and hers as the same? This is not about your loss. You have made no mistakes. This is not about you being bad. This is not about a win/lose. You have not failed at anything. You are succeeding. You are both in this together. Her win is yours. Your win is hers. No other mother would find this easy. I'll back off. I must have mis-perceived the situation. I am sorry. [/QUOTE]
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