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<blockquote data-quote="FindingSerenity" data-source="post: 757171" data-attributes="member: 24343"><p>Wise Choices- My son has been out of our home since just before turning 19- now 23. He was using drugs in our home, 99% lying, constant chaos and confrontation, refused to follow any rules, only thought of himself....yadda yada yada the whole addict profile. I have heard EVERY one of the excuses above plus some. LOL We told him he could not stay in our home anymore because we could not abide all of the above. Currently he is homeless with no car, and no phone, and a jail record because we cannot fix his problems or behavior and he has chosen not to seek help although he has every resource offered to him for help. We stepped back and let it happen.He didn't need our help to choose drugs and doesn't need our help to decide to stop using. Yesterday he showed up at our door and asked if he could have a ride to probation which is 20 miles walk each way (he has walked numerous times when he can't get a ride-ie getting out of jail and going to probation visits.) I took him to his probation visit in the BACK of our truck bc who knows where he has been and if he has covid. I will say currently he is living downtown in a hotel free bc the city rounded up all the homeless people and gave them a hotel!!! He has a free bus pass too! Addicts are SO crafty and resourceful- if you put them in a town across the country- they could find the drugs they wanted in 2 seconds. I realized I was working harder on fixing his life and problems than he was. Why would i DO that? I didn't cause it, I can't control it (that is a BIG one) and I can't cure it. I sure as heck will not let him near us during this pandemic. Our lives as just as important as his. It's tough as heck but his rock bottom has not been reached and it may never be reached. All I know is that I could no longer endure the constant chaos, lies, anger, fighting and drama, and inconsideration that came with him living in our house. I physically and mentally can't do it, and life is too short to have to live like that. I just keep going to my NAR anon group - now online and it helps so much. hard situation but to me- you have to help yourself first before you can help others. Our lives are just as important and we deserve to have a good life. Good luck. It's so tough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FindingSerenity, post: 757171, member: 24343"] Wise Choices- My son has been out of our home since just before turning 19- now 23. He was using drugs in our home, 99% lying, constant chaos and confrontation, refused to follow any rules, only thought of himself....yadda yada yada the whole addict profile. I have heard EVERY one of the excuses above plus some. LOL We told him he could not stay in our home anymore because we could not abide all of the above. Currently he is homeless with no car, and no phone, and a jail record because we cannot fix his problems or behavior and he has chosen not to seek help although he has every resource offered to him for help. We stepped back and let it happen.He didn't need our help to choose drugs and doesn't need our help to decide to stop using. Yesterday he showed up at our door and asked if he could have a ride to probation which is 20 miles walk each way (he has walked numerous times when he can't get a ride-ie getting out of jail and going to probation visits.) I took him to his probation visit in the BACK of our truck bc who knows where he has been and if he has covid. I will say currently he is living downtown in a hotel free bc the city rounded up all the homeless people and gave them a hotel!!! He has a free bus pass too! Addicts are SO crafty and resourceful- if you put them in a town across the country- they could find the drugs they wanted in 2 seconds. I realized I was working harder on fixing his life and problems than he was. Why would i DO that? I didn't cause it, I can't control it (that is a BIG one) and I can't cure it. I sure as heck will not let him near us during this pandemic. Our lives as just as important as his. It's tough as heck but his rock bottom has not been reached and it may never be reached. All I know is that I could no longer endure the constant chaos, lies, anger, fighting and drama, and inconsideration that came with him living in our house. I physically and mentally can't do it, and life is too short to have to live like that. I just keep going to my NAR anon group - now online and it helps so much. hard situation but to me- you have to help yourself first before you can help others. Our lives are just as important and we deserve to have a good life. Good luck. It's so tough. [/QUOTE]
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