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What to do when my daughter hits me
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<blockquote data-quote="lovelyboy" data-source="post: 517210" data-attributes="member: 8045"><p>I feel very sad for you.....and actually for your daughter! We went through such a rough time few months ago! At the end we lessen his medications...his medications for anxiety was causing more aggitation and explosive behaviour....instead of decreasing it!</p><p>I do think it is very important that you and your husband form a team and that your daughter needs to know that aggressive behaviour will NOT be tollerated at all! Stop being afraid of her.....I know this sounds difficult....I was there....she must know, you are the parent and she is the child and that she will not be allowed to manipulate you with her aggression! </p><p>How does she hit you? Is she just slapping you on the arms, kicking, or punching in the face? If needed learn how to defend yourself...grab her hand, and let her understand, NO, STOP! You will not tolerate such behaviour!</p><p>You need to set up rules and consequences.....she MUST get consequences for her behaviour even if she cant help it....Take away playstation for a day, subtract </p><p>pocketmoney, grounding her? Whatever works! Your husband also needs to let her know that he will not allow her to treat her mom like this! Even if he needs to hold her hands!</p><p>Also...please try and figure out why she gets so angry? Is it just when you oppose her or is it when she is maybe tired, or overwhelmed? Does she has any auditory prosessing issues? My son has auditory and sensory prosessing problems....these 2 aspects together can cause alot of frustration within the child and as it is treated in therapy her ability to use words instead of action could improve?</p><p>The book written by Dr Green on how to handle the explosive child was very helpfull....what worked for us....when my son becomes irritated and angry we back down, avoid eye contact, stop talking, speek in lower tone, monotone with him....just diverting the comments....it defuses him....we disengage for a few minutes....telling him that its not possible to have conversation with him when he screams at us.....we are now trying to help him to take time out by himself when he starts feeling angry and overwhelmed.....</p><p>Hope some of the stuff helps....Gentle hugs coming your way....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovelyboy, post: 517210, member: 8045"] I feel very sad for you.....and actually for your daughter! We went through such a rough time few months ago! At the end we lessen his medications...his medications for anxiety was causing more aggitation and explosive behaviour....instead of decreasing it! I do think it is very important that you and your husband form a team and that your daughter needs to know that aggressive behaviour will NOT be tollerated at all! Stop being afraid of her.....I know this sounds difficult....I was there....she must know, you are the parent and she is the child and that she will not be allowed to manipulate you with her aggression! How does she hit you? Is she just slapping you on the arms, kicking, or punching in the face? If needed learn how to defend yourself...grab her hand, and let her understand, NO, STOP! You will not tolerate such behaviour! You need to set up rules and consequences.....she MUST get consequences for her behaviour even if she cant help it....Take away playstation for a day, subtract pocketmoney, grounding her? Whatever works! Your husband also needs to let her know that he will not allow her to treat her mom like this! Even if he needs to hold her hands! Also...please try and figure out why she gets so angry? Is it just when you oppose her or is it when she is maybe tired, or overwhelmed? Does she has any auditory prosessing issues? My son has auditory and sensory prosessing problems....these 2 aspects together can cause alot of frustration within the child and as it is treated in therapy her ability to use words instead of action could improve? The book written by Dr Green on how to handle the explosive child was very helpfull....what worked for us....when my son becomes irritated and angry we back down, avoid eye contact, stop talking, speek in lower tone, monotone with him....just diverting the comments....it defuses him....we disengage for a few minutes....telling him that its not possible to have conversation with him when he screams at us.....we are now trying to help him to take time out by himself when he starts feeling angry and overwhelmed..... Hope some of the stuff helps....Gentle hugs coming your way.... [/QUOTE]
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