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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 700595" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Tmejia, I'm sorry for your struggles with your stepson.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't sound like a healthy idea for him to live with you. You might try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they can offer you guidance, support, information and resources. They have excellent courses for parents which may offer you suggestions and guidance as to how to proceed. You can reach them online and they have chapters in most cities. There are shelters and food banks in most cities that he can avail himself to. On the Parent Emeritus forum here, there is an article on detachment that you might find helpful now.</p><p></p><p>It's very difficult when our adult kids are mentally ill, it creates a situation for the families which is challenging at best. The best advice I can offer is for you to find support as soon as you can. Most of us here have therapists, or groups, or some form of counseling and support because this is a difficult path. Most often WE are the ones who change, WE are the ones who need to make a distinction between helping and enabling and often we need guidance in making those choices. </p><p></p><p>My sister, brother and daughter all have mental illness, diagnosed and not. It's been a long journey learning how to detach and accept what is without making it my responsibility or something I can control or fix. I would look at all the options before I would allow your stepson to live with you, once he is there, it may be problematic to have him leave, not to mention the emotional damage he could possibly do to the rest of the family. </p><p></p><p>Give NAMI a try if that feels right to you. Continue posting here too, it helps. I'm glad you're here, we do understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 700595, member: 13542"] Tmejia, I'm sorry for your struggles with your stepson. It doesn't sound like a healthy idea for him to live with you. You might try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they can offer you guidance, support, information and resources. They have excellent courses for parents which may offer you suggestions and guidance as to how to proceed. You can reach them online and they have chapters in most cities. There are shelters and food banks in most cities that he can avail himself to. On the Parent Emeritus forum here, there is an article on detachment that you might find helpful now. It's very difficult when our adult kids are mentally ill, it creates a situation for the families which is challenging at best. The best advice I can offer is for you to find support as soon as you can. Most of us here have therapists, or groups, or some form of counseling and support because this is a difficult path. Most often WE are the ones who change, WE are the ones who need to make a distinction between helping and enabling and often we need guidance in making those choices. My sister, brother and daughter all have mental illness, diagnosed and not. It's been a long journey learning how to detach and accept what is without making it my responsibility or something I can control or fix. I would look at all the options before I would allow your stepson to live with you, once he is there, it may be problematic to have him leave, not to mention the emotional damage he could possibly do to the rest of the family. Give NAMI a try if that feels right to you. Continue posting here too, it helps. I'm glad you're here, we do understand. [/QUOTE]
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