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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 705230" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>TL, I wish I had a definitive answer for you.</p><p></p><p>One thing I do know is that many who abuse drugs and alcohol know that they have a problem, however the urge to continue using is stronger than the urge to get sober. Sometimes even hitting rock bottom isn't enough to get them to want to stop.</p><p></p><p>I appreciate that you want to wait until after the New Year to talk with him. This gives you time to really think about and prepare what you are going to say to him. If it were me, I would take a queue from the show Intervention where the family shares with the loved one how their drinking or drug abuse affects them. I think it's important for your son to know how his lifestyle and choices are affecting you and your husband. I would make it clear that you cannot continue to live in this state of unknown and chaos. There are some hard truths that need to be told. This is of course no guarantee that he will accept that he needs help but it does set the stage for you and your husband to put some clear boundaries in play.</p><p>There is nothing wrong with telling your son what you will and will not tolerate if he's in your home.</p><p></p><p>I think [USER=19951]@Ironbutterfly[/USER] offered some very sound advice for available services for your son. The only thing I would add is Al-Anon for yourself.</p><p></p><p>Sending you ((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 705230, member: 18516"] TL, I wish I had a definitive answer for you. One thing I do know is that many who abuse drugs and alcohol know that they have a problem, however the urge to continue using is stronger than the urge to get sober. Sometimes even hitting rock bottom isn't enough to get them to want to stop. I appreciate that you want to wait until after the New Year to talk with him. This gives you time to really think about and prepare what you are going to say to him. If it were me, I would take a queue from the show Intervention where the family shares with the loved one how their drinking or drug abuse affects them. I think it's important for your son to know how his lifestyle and choices are affecting you and your husband. I would make it clear that you cannot continue to live in this state of unknown and chaos. There are some hard truths that need to be told. This is of course no guarantee that he will accept that he needs help but it does set the stage for you and your husband to put some clear boundaries in play. There is nothing wrong with telling your son what you will and will not tolerate if he's in your home. I think [USER=19951]@Ironbutterfly[/USER] offered some very sound advice for available services for your son. The only thing I would add is Al-Anon for yourself. Sending you ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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